The Room (in pieces)

Heres the room. I may have to explain some of it...








This is the back wall, I just wanted to show this quilt and how well it goes.








This is my new rocker glider, it's in our room still (while I shred papers)





This is the changing table, it's white, but it works. See how big the world is in the background? My mom thought it was just a picture size, it's really wall size.












This is the hamper/basket that I love, Arica and Angie got me one, I went out and got another because the one if full of blankets.







Closet, on the left, upper bins match the hamper/ basket above. The diapers are all going under the crib soon but I think we are going to move the crib closer to the French doors once they are finished.

Room take 2

I can only load so many pictures per so this is take two.




This is the other side of the closet. Funny how this lamp looks like it has the leaves coming out of it. I think I am going to get another one of these hanging drawer things, I like it and it holds the foldables really well.








French doors, almost there.









This is just an old picture from when we were still painting, but how big the world is on the wall. (hi Bob)

Week 40

Went to the Dr. yesterday and still effaced to 70/ 75% and only dilated to 1. Uggg! He says the same thing he always says, "there may be a little bleeding but it's time to get ready, we just need to get there". He gives me a high five for having contractions that wake me most of the night before but still no change. "This is typical in first time mom's, it's hard and I know your are hurting but we'll bet there, this is all normal".
I'm a wreck, most days, at least last week I was, I feel a bit better more centered this week. . Some are better than others but it all just sucks, and I have such a small support system right now that I really don't know who to talk to most days. I don't have the work moms that I could usually talk to about how crappy things are going for all of us then feel better, laugh a little and move on. I have Emilie, don't get me wrong, and I would not live without her at this point in time, she's really there for me and texting gets me thru the day when things are too busy and she can't talk. Melissa is having a really super shitty time right now and I wish I could be there more for her, thats really hard on me, this is the furthest we have ever lived from each other. She's a trooper though and will call me with her shitty news to make me feel better. Crazy, she's such a nut.
I still give, I still can't take it and now I get nightmares, remembering my dad. I keep having this dream about him going to my Godparents house to play cards and I am across the street, yet he never sees me. Uggg again, whatever. Frank gave me a box that has been in his basement for as long as I have been here. A lot of it was cards from when I was born, and there seemed to be a lot of support in those cards, nice to know the people that were around my parents back then. The cards are cute, very 70's of course really big eyes on the girls on the cards. Lots of encouragement and hope for a girl. Seems we get to know these things so much faster these days, I wonder what would have changed if there would have been that technology back then.
In other Frank news:
So, I made this bag, it's funny as hell, made from leftover ties that I made Abbie and Maxine skirts that were Franks. The skirts are really cute, I am not so sure about the purse/bag. I need to get some pictures of the curtains out here, don't I . Let me do that no I made this crazy looking bag/purse, did I mention the purse before? The purse is ok, but very Dr. Seuss, it leans a lot because the thin part (behind the neck) is always in the same place so it's really thin there, I didn't think about that part but all in all for scrap, it's cute, different? Here are the curtains, I worked on them most of the weekend., and thankfully I got skills from my pop and we had to work with what we could get. WE loved the material but it was not enough, or so we thought, I honestly had less than an inch strip of scrap when I was done. Measure 45,000 times , cut once!









I made some burp cloths too, and a bib. I know I mentioned those before, but here are some photos' of what I did. Simple, cute, I really like the look of them. Some were gifts so if there is a chance that one is for you (close your eyes) don't look!

It's not over, till it's over.. and it's not over :(

Starting week 2 at home. Not so much fun but I did get a lot of sit down boring stuff done. I still am not my chipper self, not so much fun but there is no one here to talk to yet. Dr appointment in the am so we will all cross our fingers, toes and pray A LOT! We (this we) is also going to have a nice chat with the Super Doc and discuss timing and dates.
In other news, there is no other news, my life is pretty boring. I did make curtains this weekend that even Charlie himself would be proud of. A few burp cloths and a bib too. I'll try to toss some pictures out here tonight if I can. I am not even sure if I am sleeping well these days. I slept from around 1:30 to almost 4 and got up and started a load of laundry, and picked up in the bedroom. I woke or thought I woke bob at 5 but he said he was awake even if he did fall asleep on the couch to get some real shut eye. Finished a few loads of laundry, picked up and seem to have a stack of parents, parenting, and pregnancy magazines. Anyone want them? They are good, already read here so I would hate to toss them in the recycle bin. I wrapped a few gifts for babies that are here and soon to be here. I need to call Patti and have her come out one day this week to help start on Adam and Stef's comforter. I need to open a new baby bank account and I think I am going to turn in my old savings bonds for new once as soon as she's born. It's time to pass down the torch. Betty did give me silver dollars too but I have no idea what ever happened to those.
I need to go to world market on my way home from the Dr tomorrow to see if I can find one more "hamper" I filled the one with blankets and not a single one that I made either. I did toss a few toys in the bottom of it but just because I have no idea where else to put things at this point in time, she's not going to play with any of them yet.
Sigh, we are getting there... When is she gonna get here?

No change Today

Went to the Dr today, no change.. Nothing new and sigh, we just wait some more. Cried on the phone to Bob in the car when I left, still sitting in the parking lot. I am sure he's wondering if he married a water fountain. Drove around for a bit and ended up at Denny's for lunch, it was good the waiter was sweet to me and really made me feel better, just not knowing and not asking anything helped. I can't say one more time that she's not here yet and I am waiting at home, using up my time feeling like I did something wrong.
After lunch I went to Kangaroo Kids to get nursing bra's and tops, the people there are so nice. The lady that was working had her son in, I am guessing he's 3 or 4 and thinks he's spider man until you say that to him then he's not anymore! I got this super cute onsie for the baby that is a massage onsie, and tells you where to massage for what reasons. I got a 0-3 months, and am sure I will get larger sizes if this one works out well. They said they get them in on occasion and it's cute.
I went to Hancock Fabric on my way out the door from Kangaroo Kids and they are not worth linking in here. That store is horrible, I am so disappointed with their designs, the service and the prices are horrible. I need to remember this before I go back in there, I can't even stand the sight of it now.
After that I went to my pregnancy massage at Ginger Bay Salon, and it was nice but I must admit my disappointment. There is one thing that pregnant women want to do and should be able to do when getting a massage ($75 massage) lay on your belly. Nope, they don't have that table and with the way my back hurt that didn't help. All in all the girl was good, she looked pregnant but I was afraid to ask if she was only because she may not have been and then where am I? Either or, it was nice, not the best, they have separate locker rooms but shared area to wait on your person. They had trail mix and teas while you wait and that was nice but I was not hungry for anything just drank a lot of water.
Left there and went to the grocery store for oranges then came home. I am now very tired and my body aches worse than this morning. I am emotionally drained and hope I sleep well tonight, I have had come crazy dreams these past few nights.
I feel like I am missing out on whats going on with everyone but I don't have the energy to hear anyone say anything that I am going to hear wrong, cuz really, when you feel like this, the last thing you want to hear is "God, you have not had that baby yet?", my favorite from my neighbor is "She won't be here until after the 17th and will weigh at least x lbs", "You should just wait till XX Date", "Are you having sex?", "drinking water?", "You should go for a long walk" (cuz my back feels great when I walk), and my personal favorite "Well what are you doing to go into labor?"

Sigh, No change today...

More Snow... None here...

So, there is this huge winter storm warning going on and snow everywhere...but here.











Had labor salad again for lunch, and if she would get here, I got her snow boots!!

Dear Baby -

Dear Baby...
I can't wait to meet you. It feels like it's been forever from the time I first dreamed that you were coming. I can't tell you how many times you have changes in my mind, growing into and as a person. It's amazing, something that is going on in my head and in my body and both are separate functions but both effecting my dreams.
I know I thought you were a boy at first but I really am glad your a girl, I am proud of who I am and can 't wait to see the strong woman that you become in life. One woman that can speak her mind, her heart and her truth, a woman that knows what she wants (most of the time is fine) and is not afraid enough to stop going after it. It's ok to be afraid, and it's fine to wonder, but don't ever let that stop you from trying. It's ok to cry, it does not make you weak, there is a strength in showing your emotions, and feeling enough of yourself to be ok on the inside and show what is going on outside.
This pregnancy has changed me into so much more than I ever thought I would be (LITERALLY!) and it has helped me understand how to feel the changes in me and identify where my life and my body are. There has been a lot that has gone on in the past 9/10 months that I hope that you get to experience on your own. I promise you, I am going to sound a little whiny now but I know you are worth it. This is just how I am dealing some days and I hope you have the gift of gab like both of your parents, and I hope you love to read and write like your mother and you can see the world in a camera like your dad.
I hope that I didn't ruin Clementine's & oranges for you, I think I have eaten a lifetimes supply of them, I saved you chocolate like uncle Dave, you can fight over it with him, I had no desire for it the whole time. I never really got into a lot of cravings, but I did like rice crispy's with no sugar, milk super cold (Melissa would be proud if I used ice), gummy bears, sweetish fish, & sweet tarts. I think that I would not have any cravings that would stop me or pull me away but daddy craved Pantera's enough that I didn't need to, but I did love going to Wendy's.
I am going to take pictures of your room this week, I can't wait for you to see it. I showed you today where Aunt Anja is but I am sure you can't see her yet, soon enough you will know where everyone is and we will have fun finding them after we get post cards.
I can't begin to tell you how much this whole journey has changed my outlook on having a baby, there is so much that goes into finding out, telling daddy and then feeling your first movements. I think my favorite was when daddy could finally feel you and would talk to you and try to get you to kick more. There is nothing better than those first 7 months (for me with you) I really did have a good time figuring out who where we go from here, thinking of how your going to laugh, run, and do the things that I did as a kid. I heard the kids outside playing the other day and can't wait until that is you. Even the high pitched screams of girls when they are so excited they just can't hold it in. (that's an outside scream, ok)
I know I sound like I am not happy these days, I am it's just becoming a lot harder on me and my body. Your a whole lot of kid and you should be here soon. Dr said you could be about 8 pounds so that's hard for me to carry with no arms. It's hard on my belly and harder on my back. There comes a time when everything is just harder, being at home without you has been one of those things. I am ready for you to be here and have your own voice, even if it is at 3 am. My ankles are swelling everyday, it's not a pretty picture but I have to say it's not been to bad, thankfully I am not going to any fashion shows so I am fine in pants. My skin is so tight on my belly that it hurts to wear my shirt down over it and my belly button. If my back didn't hurt so bad from you sitting on my sciatica I would feel pretty good right now, but the pain is bad enough that I am having a hard time walking. This is no good for me, Melissa may have surgery soon (again) and it would be nice if I could go see her and actually be able to walk and sit once I got there. The heartburn has not been bad except the past few weeks and that's about 3 am which is always nice to wake up and have.
I take all of these things and try to put them in the back of my mind, knowing soon you will be here before we know it. One day we will paint crafts, cook cookies, and even tag team daddy and make him dye eggs with us (you can use the glue gun once your 9, maybe 8). We will carve pumpkins and find or make the best costumes ever, no matter what it is that you want to be. I can't say that I have a dream of you being one thing, in fact, I hope you have a love for many like I do. I hope that you get the chance to make donuts (yes Aunt Lisa did that) and I hope you get to learn how to shoot pool by the best (Uncle Mark may teach you), and work on cars even if they are stinky, they give you character and boys really find that hot, and I do hope you get to make pizzas like I did, or work at Ponderosa like dad. I hope that you suffer through a summer of minimum wage work and swimming with friends that leaves you golden brown and tired but remembering every moment, every song and every scent. I hope you laugh so hard your cheeks and stomach hurt, I hope you fall in love a lot, I hope you make mistakes and learn from them, they are not worth making if you do it over and over again. I hope you find a hero, and I hope you find a hobby, even if it's sticker collecting. I hope you have a best friend, one that talks you into painting and selling rocks and Popsicle sticks, even if you have to see her hurt and understand sometimes there's nothing you can do but be there, and know that forever she's there for you, telling stupid stories about you and her doing all the dumb things (that you learned from) and laughing over wine when your OLD like 30!
There are so many things that I want for you, more than anything I want you to be happy, healthy, (here), and the love of my and daddy's lives.
Hugs and kisses.
Mom

My Baby Book-

Many of you have told me how much you love this blog, well it really is going to be a baby book one day. I forgot a million times to put the link out here for anyone else that is thinking the same thing (Karla, cough cough)

http://www.blurb.com/home/1/

Searching for Labor

So, I went on line after hearing a few friends talk about some Pregnancy salad. There are stories all over about a place in LA Caioti (cute story attached) Pizza that makes a salad that puts women in labor. The ingredients are romaine, watercress, walnuts and Gorgonzola cheese with some special vinaigrette dressing. There are stories everywhere about making your own and what to put in it all seems to be the same so I dared try. I found pasteurized Gorgonzola (which I love anyway!) and purchased the rest of the ingredients this past weekend. The Salad was awesome but it's not seeming to work so well, nothing has happened. Today is day 2 of the salad and I have been drinking the raspberry leave tea for a week or more with no luck . What's going to work? Who knows, I tried adding dried cherries, yesterday roast beef, and today turkey and tomatoes. Still good but no dice.
She's Bob's kid so I think I am going to have to move all the clocks and calendars up and tell her it's almost April. That's how we get Bob to show up on time to Holiday events. Personally, I think she's waiting for the snow to end.

Anyone in good with Mother Nature?

P.S. I have opened the Comments to non moderated so please use caution, it only takes one bad egg for me to shut it off again. I wanted to give people a chance to add comments while we are in the hospital (yes, it will happen eventually!) so this way there can be updates without me here. Wow, there are going to be more entries without me than with!

Rest and Relax? (yea, right)

Went to the Dr yesterday, my back is killing me and I can't walk well. He said she's on my sciatica and there is little we can do that we are not already and it's time for rest before she gets here. No more work :( I am so torn on what this means, I cried, I need the break, my body needs the break but I don't want to be home alone! This starts my 12 weeks of time off, I am not happy about that.
Well, we are getting closer, 2 weeks and counting. Doc said he does not want to induce wit the first baby, it's too soon, we will check again closer to due date and if we must then it will be a different story then but for now it's best for her to come when she's ready.
I guess I will know better how I feel about it after a few days of rest.

In Other news, Stacey had her baby girl at 33 weeks, they are at St. Johns and seem to be holding up well in the NICU. WE are all just waiting and praying now. Melissa is throwing a shower for her Friday night and baby will be in the hospital until at lease her original due date.

That's all for now. Send me an e-mail at home if you want, or leave a comment here. :D