Backyardigans, babies and a Whole Lotta Crazies (Part 1)

I have missed you all so much!! Lets go into this whole thing on the positive then we will see how far we get with the rest.. Shall we?

Backyardigans. Miss T loves them! LOVES -- she will wonder in front of the TV until she's actually STANDING in front of it, like that little girl.. you know the one..

But we are finally moving the living room around to bring the big TV up and get the rest of the junk out... Know what that means???!!! Heck ya! I am buying myself a WII with my bonus and Gett-in Physical -- Physical!

(Post to come, Trip to the ER, fell off the WEEEEEeeeeeeiiiiii)

Babies -

Holey Cow - EVERYONE IS PREGNANT!! Don't' drink the water! (insert Dave Matthews song here). I can't believe mine is going to be one this month. Insane, speaking of... lets move on to topic number three..

I know I crack a lot of jokes on here, and vent quite a bit but this is actually a serious topic and really quite a bit insane and yucky. Do you remember this, ya, I do too. Needless to say, I had Postpartum at the time, and I can tell you it's the most INSANE, INTENSE thing that happens, it's like a period, watching Steel Magnolias, having your husband say your butt is big, no ice cream in the house, last girl scout cookie eating sad time! I could not talk about going back to work without being in TEARS. It was horrible, so I made an appointment with my OB and went in, also having my first clogged duct. Ya, that was a great visit, I am leaking milk all over crying, half naked, can't fit into anything, Baby's at my mom's I forgot all of the liners to her bottles (which ended up as a good thing) I cried on the phone to my sitter, my boss went off the handle before I even came back to work and I cried on the phone with him then called HR.

Long story short, I started meds...

It works, and please if there is a chance that you have it GET HELP!!! I cannot explain what a world of good it did me. Not that it would have helped with the MA but it did help with the rest. I didn't even know I had it, my sister made me watch P.S. I love you and ya, wth of course we cried... things seemed normal, I had a great visit with her, we had a wonderful time and it was just when I was going back to work that I really had a nice sit down with my emotions.

Why you ask? Why do I bring this up now? Well, I started on meds before I went back to work and all was going well, I was suppose to stay on the meds for SIX FULL Months so they could take effect and all went well, things were good then I thought hmmm.. I am suppose to stop taking these around Thanksgiving? That's no good, I could go postal and stab someone with a sweet potato! Fine, not really, ok, maybe... I won't mention names.

So, I decided I would get around Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, cut down to half a pill then work my way off that right after my "Cough (no numbers) cough" birthday. So, that's just what I did.. Nice. other than the twenty pounds I put on. Sucks, but I can always take that off later, lets get back to normal, right? Nursing, yup, not an ounce of formula EVER! YA! Great, now the pills are ready to go away, starting a bit of milk with the feedings prep to ween and now we are getting ready for the first birthday, cleaning up the house and I stop taking the last pill and BAM! Sunday (last Sunday, not this past) I was really tired so I took a nap, horrible headache, ya it's allergies.. no big deal..

Monday, Horrible headache STILL, nothing is working, now I am getting a little woozy, and I am SO Tired... Then it was like someone spun me around, and I am SO DIZZY I can't even stand. So, I am sick to my stomach, tired, waking up every half hour at night, queasy, lightheaded, dizzy (yes they are different) and horrible headache. this is (don't try this at home) where I look up online and yup I am having Withdraws! OMG, I didn't even have them when I quit smoking!! This is the worst I have ever felt in my life, on top of that I have to help cover the late shift at work so I am getting to work between 8 and 9 and staying until 6 some nights 7. This past week has been the worst of my life. Worse than 1st trimester could have ever been.... I've been popping benedryl every 4 hours just so I can function. Off to call my DR again. He wants to put me back on that crap for 2 weeks to ween again by using smaller doses over a longer time frame.. I am not having it. If I don't feel better by the end of this week, I will have to think of something but this is bad news.

Moral of the story here, if you are ever on antidepressants, make sure to ask your Dr questions about getting off it and take the long slow road to get there..

BLAH!!!!

More to come :D