I 7 it....(puke talk, you may wanna skip this one)

Yup. I ate it, I got sick and I got rid of it... oh HELL!! I really thought I was gonna die!!! I didn't know what to do with myself, I have never been that sick! Ok, I am sure as a kid I was that sick but seriously, I had to bang on the floor so Bob would bring me a bowl. I wanted my mom, I wanted to sleep on the bathroom floor and I wanted to be left alone to DIE!!
Carries kids had it and I am sure they wanted their mom too. What is it about throwing up that makes you want to share that?
Oh, ya, I slept holding on to a bowl, it was not "The bowl" but it was Tupperware none the less. Made me feel better that it was. I wanted "the bowl" I wanted My Mom but that didn't happen. My husband had the nerve to ask if I wanted him to call his mom... Come on.. She's not going to make me orange Jell0, she's not going to get me 7 up, she's not going to get me chicken soup and saltines... No way no how.. Please just let me die..
Thankfully, he did. He went to hang out with friends last night, talked to me during the 2 am feeding, and then went down stairs to watch dvds. I went back to bed and knew my stomach just didn't feel right. About 3ish, I woke up and it began..Oh, ya... it was so bad.. and oh, did I mention I was on the heaviest day of my period? ya, that makes all those muscle contractions so much better... then it started on the other end and I really wanted to die then.
Then Miss T woke up around 7 30 thankfully, NeeNee came out last night and kept her up until almost nine. She slept in and Bob took the monitor and got up with her, gave her a bottle, gave her breakfast, and stayed home on his day off when he had people in town to take care of the baby (the sitter was off today) so I could die in peace. The festivites ended around 10 30 and I slept until 3 off and on, sweating, cold, coughing, dry, but never did I have a feaver. I could finally keep a bit of water down around 4, and had some soup at 6. Bob got to go see his friends, T got some dinner and I am going to bed once I finish this post. I was suppose to meet this woman today and buy some antique buttons but that didn't happen...
I finally feel a little better, I can't believe how bad that was, I can't remember ever puking like that..
uugggggg..

List 4. I Watch

Ya'll may think this is a list of TV only -- but it's not..

1. I watch the trees in the fall, and the leaves blowing in the wind.
2. I watch birds flying in circles, all in big groups, I could watch that for hours.
3. I watch my baby crawling and moving around, in anticipation of her next move, almost holding my breathe trying to let her do her thing.
4. I watch my husband cut the grass, back and forth, up and down the hills, he loves it, he will never admit it, but he does.
5. I watch my baby grow, her hair is longer now, we are going to start wearing barrettes soon. I ordered a few online and I am going to make some myself. I watch her legs get longer, and her feet growing, she's more limber and coordinated, she can eat her feet, giggle and laugh, sing songs to herself, crawl, pick things up, take pots and pans out of their stacks, put things in her mouth, change hands and do it with the other hand. talent I tell ya
6. I watch the kids on our street, playing, remembering when I was that age... Amazement, I can't get over the memories.
7. I watch my friends kids get older, do more, have more kids, be so cute... (add another thing to wish list, that we were all closer to each other too)
8. I watch Grey's Anatomy, House, Biggest Loser (sometimes, I have not been into it this season) Lost (when it starts), Heroes, Private Practice, Men in Trees... and that's about it. We don't have cable, satellite, or whatever... I know we will get it when Miss T is older and wants it, but until then, we don't need it.. We have enough to do.
9. I watch my mothers hands, I know this is something that she will e-mail me on later, but we have the same hands and I have always watched her hands, they are so much more delicate than mine, almost like she's composing all the time. I watch my own hands add freckles ever year, more and more, now I look at Miss T's hands and wonder if I will see the same thing.
10. I watch me change, I am growing into a new person. I am not the same today as yesterday, constently changing, not a bad thing of course, but surprising that this is who I am. I am glad, I have not always been glad about that, but I am now, and I am blessed.

List 3. I Wish

Lets face it.. we all want something, but this list is for those big crazy things...

1. I wish we had a pool, it's just not going to happen right now, but it may someday.
2. I wish we lived closer to family, the cousins, all the girls are so close in age, it would be great to live closer to them.
3. I wish I didn't have to work, ya a lot of moms say this, I could be fine working part time but thanks GW.
4. I wish I knew if I wanted more kids, I am just so happy with Miss T right now, I am not thinking of anything else. Everything she does makes me happy and she's just the most perfect baby ever... I am in mommy bliss.
5. I wish I were better at buying my husband gifts. He is so hard to shop for...
6. I wish I could open my own store, and sit down and sew all the time but that's not good for anyone, epically my butt!
7. I wish (ok sometimes) I could go back in time and change a few little things from my past, but if you watch Heroes then you know that it all falls into that butterfly effect and bla bla bla..
8. I wish my sister(s) (and sisters in law) lived closer, it would be so great to have someone here that could walk with me, work out together, hang on the weekends, bookstores and all that.
9. I wish we were closer to my mom too, it's so nice when she gets to spend time with Miss T, but it's not as often as I would like. I loved that my Godmother was across the street, and even more so, that she bought a crib when I was born so I could be over there more often...
10. I wish Bob's dad was not such a POS, and that mine was not either. Would have been nice to have some grandfathers. We do love the men in our lives but those two make it hard on us both.

Crazy wishes I know, no trains planes, helicopters, living in Hawaii.. I mean those are all things I would take of COURSE!! but the above is higher on the list.

MIA and other stories...

So, I have been really quiet about a few things for a long time. I know that the support on this thing is great and I thank you all for being here for me, but I didn't talk much about being sued recently. It was my whole family that was, not just me but even with that, it's scary, hard and I was pregnant when it stared and Miss T was only weeks old when I got served. It was just hard enough with everything else going on to have this too. I don't talk much about my family but this has to do with my dad and that was subject enough all on it's own while I was waiting for her to get here, that I didn't need this on top of it all.
I made this sound like it was the beginning of the story but it's not and that's a post for another day and one big set for Miss T and her grandfathers (yes both of them) so the short story for now is, he left when I was 5 and soon after I didn't see him again until I was 15 and we started talking when I was 17 then he died when I was 20. Either or this is where some of it goes...
The Court date was this week, we had our primary Unkie in charge of going to court and he and Auntie Rach came in town for a visit. Miss T and I were there all weekend and most of this week to prep and support the cause. We were glad we did, I have a few pictures to post soon but we have been traveling a lot this week so I have not had a lot of computer down time.
I did get a note from a friend this morning that came in perfect timing to help explain my gratitude to my mom for all that she's done for us while growing up, being a single mom with 5 kids, a full time job, extended kids from the neighborhood, and a life of her own to try to have as well. This Post from Migraine Mom, Invisible Mom says it all.. Take a read, it's worth it.

Invisible Mother..
I only have 5 more days to squeeze into summer because work starts back up on Monday. Today we will be at a friends house all day playing, playing and playing! A friend sent this to me yesterday and it really struck me. I can't claim it as my own and I'm not sure of the author, but I thought it was beautiful. Enjoy!

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

I feel whitty... oh so whitty...

Where to begin...
Mothers Day.. My first, I wanted breakfast in bed. Something simple, eggs? Cereal? bagel? Nothing big or spectacular. We didn't do breakfast, I did get two cute cards, one from Miss T and one from Big Daddy.. Bob's card was really funny.. I cracked up.
On the outside it has a chicken with really long legs and says "A Mothers Day Riddle" and the Chicken says "Why did the mom cross the road?"
Inside it says "No one could tell, really. She was mumbling something to herself about peace and quiet. She circled the block a couple of times and came back a lot happier"
Hmmm??? I don't get it... HA!!
So, for dinner... Bob went and got 2 steaks, and 4 Russian King Crab legs and grilled them up with veggies, yellow tomato, asparagus, and two kinds of mushrooms. Also, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and pears, and cheesecake lolly pops (good but not worth the price next time), two different B&J ice creams, and a cookie cake from Dierbers. Aww, romance with a baby monitor in the center of the table. Who needs candles? Taryn of course is a fan of the romance too, she didn't want to miss it, she was happy for all of 45 seconds.
We are slowly surviving the sugar coma! Kidding, it's been a few days and thankfully most of it is still around. I gave the neighbors most of the cookie cake.. No thanks to Rebekah and Aiden..they didn't even make a dent!
We may have talked daddy into that the day before with our new outfit. We are not sure it made an impact on him, he only took four THOUSAND pictures while she had it on!






Well, we had our two month Dr. visit and little Miss is on the map. She's almost 12 lbs already. I can't believe it but I will have guns like RB by the time she's six months like Aiden.. Ya baby!
All went well with the shots and confirming we have the Thrush, ugg. Not so fun and we got meds and thankfully early on. Dr said its slight but no need to not take the meds, they will help. I need to get some yogurt too so I can keep fighting this thing with help from the natural resources we have everyday.
Taryn had her first bottle, did I say that before? Well, I can't pump for a few days, they said wait 4 to 5 days from the LLL. I figure it's a good idea and we have so much frozen it's not a bad idea to dip into our month 1 supply anyway if needed. I got a sterilizer from Target.com Thanks Grannie Sandy and Auntie Katie for the gift cards... Came in handy. I am for sure a fan to sterilize everything going forward and it was worth the money in the end, we are going to try to stay with the BF as long as we can. Our little moose seems to be doing quite well with it so far.
I loaded some pictures on the Flickr site too, I know, I know I need to go Pro on there so I can do more with it but I just have not gotten around to doing it yet. Bla bla Bla..
Cell phone photos of the week!
So, I put on my same brown Born's that I have been wearing from October and went for a walk with Rebekah, (her idea so she could have some cookie and not feel bad about it) and got the hugest blister of my life.. Yes, it's gross but I am going to show you just because, well 1. its my blog and I can do what I want to and 2 because Tracey said she's never heard of anyone getting a blister in the center of their foot before. Good enough reasons.. if not skip over the next ones are pretty good.






I went to Walgreen's because someone needed her own items for around the house. Taryn needed her own head and shoulders because her scalp is still so dry and peeling. (Not sure if she would rather get that or the jeep from her dad! HA, don't tell him I said that, if he reads it well, we are all in trouble) but while there I got the BIGGEST thing of Smarties in the whole WORLD! Angie just ruined her keyboard drooling over this!



Stef and Adam are going to be so proud, Taryn is wearing her tye dye that they got her. Cute little hippie sleeping. Surprised it didn't' come with a beer and a dead cd... kidding





Here's the two hippies together. Ok, please look at that kids face. I LOVE THAT SAD POUT. It's going to get her a lot if not most of what she wants from her father for most of her life but it's cute and not such a bad thing now.




That's about it from here, I can't think of much else that's going on. This weekend is brunch with Bob's mom and sisters, I am bringing Miss Thing because none of them have seen her yet, so she will wow them with her cuteness of course. More to come. P.S. don't forget to look at the flickr shots and there will be a post soon for people to post comments to Taryn, I want to get a few in from people for her book. Take your time, think of something brilliant and funny.

We heard your cries for more!!!

So Taryn and I are sitting here, chillin'. Big daddy went for a walk and some "power" fries... He needs his carbs to keep going. Wanted to load a few more pictures from today, she's a whole day older and wiser, we are feeding at the every 3 hour mark almost consistently today, this is a good thing. I am feeling good too, didn't take pain meds after the first time but I am planning to take them tonight so we can all get a little rest. No sleeping pills for me, that's too hard on my body right now, I am having a hard time trying to stay awake when feeding during the day.
Taryn met Emilie, Colette, Rebekah, Karla, Penny, Patti, Adam and Stefanie. Grandma Sally was here most of the day helping out, we are so glad, she makes it easier for mom to get around and Taryn to not feel left out (yea, right) and Grandma Sandy stopped in before going to the show.

Here's dad getting better at his burping skills, Taryn getting better at her sleeping thru dad talking skills.
Here's Taryn zonked out after a long day... some good feedings and some new friends.



Here's Taryn with her eyes open for the first length of time. She's really looking around and was alert for an hour or so! Also, two thirds of me today.

Here's how tall she is, look at those legs! She's lost 7 oz but to hold her, you would never know it!

Guess Who We Met!!!!!

Welcome Welcome Welcome

Miss Taryn Ryan

9lbs, 4.9 oz, 20 inches

Little Miss Fashionably Late Showed at 22:16 (10:16 pm)

The above two pictures are from yesterday, Grandma Sally came in and was shocked and almost speechless when the nurse rolled you in. We are not surprised, I mean your too pretty for words, Grandma Sally figured that out quickly. I was on the phone getting the insurance all worked out and you and Grandma Sally had a nice chat (see above) and you explained how our day went.



We didn't sleep well on Easter night, we had a lot going on and I think daddy and I were both freaked enough just getting to now. We slept about two solid hours, daddy slept a bit longer, which is good, he didn't sleep well the whole week. Got up around 5 and started the post below then got off line and finished getting ready. Repacked the overnight bag and got everything ready to go. I need to mention I was really scared at this point in time, the future holds something unknown and I didn't know where my range of emotions began or ended. The phone rang at 6:35 ish and the hospital told us we were ready to come in. We got everything in the car and were out the door before 7 and were checked in to the hospital before 8. Got in the room and were attached to machines that would deliver me fluids and medicine to start the contractions. We started slow but worked our way up and by noonish we were doing well. Daddy ran to the car to move things then went to grab a bite from the cafe. During that time my Dr came in (didn't expect him there that early) and actually broke my water himself. It was nice to have him there, something comforting that there was not just one more person I didn't know poking on us. Daddy came back in and Grandma Sandy stopped by with food (that I could not have) and he actually ate. Good thing, the day was just going to get longer. After my water was broken, the contractions did get stronger, I wanted to walk or sit on the ball but there was no good time to get set up while everything else was going on. We made it to 3 and then checked again and I had hit a 4, this is when they say I can have my epi, and so I did. We had piggybacked contractions for about an hour before and I was getting tired and needed the break. The dr came in and started setting up and I was getting freaked, I cried a bit but not as bad as I thought, I think I really held strong. Scared but set up, I finally could relax a bit and get a nap myself. I slept off and on from 4 to 6, having to wake up and roll over every half hour. It was nice to lay back and get some sleep. Checked again at 6:30 before Nurse Karen (super great nurse!) was leaving, we were at a strong 4/5 not enough change, ugg. Nurse Ginny came in and told me a story about the hula and prayer and how it helps with contractions and getting things moving. Cute, she was nice and really did help me out a lot. We also got a surprise of Grandma Judy coming up, that was unexpected. We did what we could but 8:3o came and we were still not moving along like we needed to. We did the above and beyond in the next hour, pumped up the pitocin to a 12/13 and started moving as much as we could to get things going as fast as we could. This was where the guilt kicked in that I took the epi instead of walking the halls or doing something else on my own. 9:30 came and went, Nurse Ginny checked one last time with a hope and a prayer, we were at a 7 but she was not moving down, Ginny said there was "just a lot of space" she didn't understand why this was happening, we were doing everything right, we were contracting beautifully and it just was not working.



By now, Grandma Judy and now Grandma Sandy were both there, and I was getting started to get prepped for this big and sudden change. I wanted to cry, long and loud, I was freaking out in my head but was trying to keep it all together because it really was not about me at this point, we had someone that needed me calm in order to have her life start well. Super Doc came in and got the ball rolling, checked me one last time and agreed with Ginny, we were contracting perfectly, did all we could there was nothing that I was not trying to get going but something was not right, she would not drop. This was the safe option and what we needed to do for both of us even if we wanted natural, we did all we could up until this point in time. Within a matter of minutes, there was a scrub nurse that popped her head in and introduced, an anaesthesia resident and Dr, my Dr, husband and random nurses all around. The grandmothers were sent off to the waiting room and I was already shot up with a crazy mix of cocktails, drinks, pills and injections. Off to the operating room we went, Bob soon to follow behind in his new paper attire. Going in the room everything happened quickly, I was moved from one bed to another, layed back and had to put my arms on two boards, more shots and changes and a screen that went up right in front of my face and everyone started working. Pressure on my stomach, changes happening so fast then Bob started taking pictures. Super said "Oh, now we know what caused it, shes sunny side up" so this means posterior or facing out and in the wrong position to come out naturally and or very easy. A moment later, hear him then say "Wow, she's big". Then more squishing and moving and Bob got to go with the nurse to weigh Taryn. Yes folks, you saw it here first. NINE POUNDS, all by herself, no wonder my back hurt. I normally would never subject another woman to having her photo taken on a scale of all things, but this is a one time shot and we can call some of it water weight ;) hee hee.

So, long story short, they cleaned me up and we went to recovery, where I proceeded to throw up my cocktail (that was not good going down and worse coming up but thankfully no aftertaste!) then settle into being so tired I could not function for about 20 minutes. We got in a little quality time before visitors started showing up (grandmas there, remember) and they went with daddy to the nursery while they cleaned Taryn up and got her in APGAR checked (we got a 9/8 btw) so all is well, 10 fingers, 10 toes, good looks, good brain and what more can you ask for? We did really well!
So, today starts a new story, thankfully one that includes me losing weight, touching my toes soon and this beautiful new girl. Should get exciting from here, Taryn and I are sitting in bed looking at her hands. She has Grandma Sally and my hands, and yes Aunt Lisa, she did already mention piano lessons. Hope everyone enjoyed the pictures, sorry there are not more, we don't have a lot of excitement after the delivery, we are all just getting to know one another.

78th Post and we go to the hospital tomorrow...

I have no idea what the 78 has to do with other than it told me I had 77 posts and I thought, Man I talk and type a lot.
We go to the hospital tomorrow, I looked in the Birthday book and tomorrow is a good day to be born. Good Birthday, seems all is well and going well for the 24th of March. that makes me feel better. I must have
I am freaking out that I put my sewing Machine away, it's so odd. I have now wanted to sew in months, I got in there for 2 weeks? now I am uneasy putting it away.. Odd? I think so. I got a lot done, I will get more done again, I am not going to keep it put away but for now, we are going to take some time to get used to being a family.
expected, the big joke today is if or when I will sleep.I am worried about tomorrow, I mean it's a big step, a bigger change and a longer lasting effect. I am really worried about the ouchie tomorrow, I mean this is not like a filling (I called it a filling today to Lisa, she called it a root canal) not sure what to expect, not sure anyone really can say for sure, it's all so different and individual. I am scared and nervous, I mean I guess it's to be Last night, I slept from 3 am till almost 6 am, it was so bad I watched Hell Boy on regular TV, Lisa laughed because not only did I watch Hell Boy but I watched it with commercials even! Ya, that's bad. (shakes head)
Something about it all does not feel real yet, I guess it won't till it happens, Bob says he's calm, he's fine and it's not a big deal it's just what happens next, but he's not slept in days and I swear he lemon pledged thew whole house, not that I suggest sniffing bathrooms but ya, there too. I was finishing sewing something yesterday and smelled cigarette and he accidentally walked in the house after he lit his, he's got a lot on his mind...
All the Pack n Plays have been put together, the toys are put away, the computer has not been moved yet but that loses out Internet connection so Bob's still working on that for the first week while she's home and in our room. It's my stupid fault, I have no idea why we didn't get connections in all the rooms when we had the house built.
Rambling already, I know..
I started putting away long sleeve maternity tops that I am hoping not to wear but they are all clean. I have some pants out but put some of the less worn in the bag too, they are mostly winter, so I am not sure what to do with them all yet. I have a friend at work that I plan to give my tall girl stuff to, but not sure what to do with it all. I guess that's not really a worry at this point in time.
I tried to take a few pictures of our last day at home alone. Not sure what all will change, but I can promise, there will be so many fewer pictures of my belly! She likes the right side right now.









Bob rotated the dryer door (yes, I know now? Really? didn't you need that more the last month?) it's going to be nice, and now that I will be able to bend down to the washer level it will be even more helpful. Bob's been transferring most of the laundry this past few weeks, maybe that's what it takes?










I got Thomas' gift done, finally, and yes Kate I am spoiling it for you now but you still have to wait for it to be mailed. It's a towel hoodie a SHARK one. I designed it myself, like the fin?? I thought it was cute. The teeth are ribbon, triangle fold and sewn, it was my own idea, I am pretty proud. I can't wait to finish Audrey's, it's going to be so cute, it's a Lion.












Yes, he also was cleaning cameras this weekend, and no joke, this is what I walked into in the kitchen, it's like a little army. I have no idea who does this other he but it was soo funny, on the kitchen table, in front of the clif bars and oranges.









Last but not least, NO ONE OPEN THE CLOSET DOOR! Holey cow! That's a lotta stuff... Actually, it all fit, it's a bit crunched but the door opens (opens in the closet thank you) and closes, the sewing machine is in there, along with 10 king size pillows, 5 king and queen comforters, 2,465 flannel jackets/pullovers (seriously, there are 20+), 10 coats, one Sewing table, 5 boxes of material, a bunch of sewing machine parts, 5 shelves of sheets, 4 different 20 + yard sets of material still on the roll, 3 vases, a Christmas stocking box FULL of ribbon, a box of patterns, another box of binding and other tools, a box of storage for bills and cards and a box of CD cases (yes, that need to go, does anyone remember me bending anytime in the past month?) and maybe some bad 90's Cd's but we won't go there. The rest of the room is somewhat clean, other than that blue box, that makes my statement above false, not everything fit.... One large heavy box of material that I really tried to use! It's so hard right now , when I made the diaper bags for charity I was all over the floor, I never realized how much bending and stretching it takes to cut patterns and make patterns. I will get there.. But oh well, it's still clean and you can see the floor, there are not tables all over the room , the computer will have a place to go (see glass top desk) and I will be back in there sewing one day.












Somehow the vacuum isn't working so well so Bob is fixing that so we can finish the floor in there. I did finish a few other items, but not so much fun right now to post. I am getting in the shower then going to try to go to bed... wish me luck and fingers crossed the next post and pictures will be tomorrow (if we can get them loaded) and of Baby Girl Better Late Than Never..

Morgan came up with two more names... Patricia and Marie, she thinks it would be fun for the baby to have a name kind of like mine but she will be Patricia, not Tricia. Kim tried to tell her I think 15 times that my real name is Patricia but I just use the Tricia part, didn't work. She does like Marie and likes that Bob's sister is named Marie, if I go over there and she has new jewelery, we will know that Marie really did call even if she could not get a good flight in.
Guess everyone will know her name tomorrow, just pray we can agree when we see her. Wow, this is all happening really fast now.

11:30 P.M. Happy Birthday Mom... Tomorrow, we are hoping for someone new to have their own.

**Spoiler Alert!** Happy Birthday (No, theres no baby yet)

Mom - Lisa and Shari - Don't look -- Skip this Entry or ruin your own surprise ---

So, weeks ago I was thinking I needed to get my mother something for her birthday early... I am starting to think that I know where this kid gets it...YIKES! Ok, so I was going to get some Harry and David stuff with the help of my sister and a few funny e-mails back and forth, a few bad days, some pony tail holders and an i-tunes gift card...walks into a bar.. no, seriously.. So then I forget and realize that 1. I have no kid here yet and 2 No dice at the there is a Harry and David in the mall and I need to walk to get this kid movin! mall, time is running short and then I remembered this little thing I saw on a blog. Crayon Roll Cases, they were so cute, Maybe I cold make one of those for her embroidery needles? Ok, seriously $15 for that? It holds like 6.. No way, I can find better..

So, I was online and started thinking where to look and low and behold I loved the Pink Chalk Studio instructions and they were on her birthday last year! It's a sign :O... ok, it's not a sign but what a quinkie dink! No Problem 24 X 10, each holder is 1 1/4". That does not seem like so much, you know me, gotta go bigger! Mine is 36 X 22 double sided, holds on each side and folds together in the center (so they don't fall out one end) Ties and has a handle (seen below)









Yes, Bigger, holds 65 (whatevers) needles.. I don't have any so I used some hem liners that I have that are flat.










First, let me jut say that my Godmother and my father are laughing their ASSES off..
I am not a fan of bias tape, we all know this, and this is why a lot of my stuff does not get done (yes Kate, that is what we are all waiting on!) and I get this whole thing done and Oh, Ouch what the Hell.. Are you kidding me -- An INCH!! So, I yell out "SonofaBitch! All I need is an extra Inch" Bob is in the other room laughing "I've heard that joke but never heard a woman say that before!" Oh that Bob's a funny one...


So, you can roll it or fold it flat and tie it together.. but, this is it.. Thoughts?











**Spoiler** I made some towels for my sister in law for her birthday coming up and we won't make it out to their house this year for the 4th so I thought these would be cute...
**Spoiler 2** I made my sister some tennis towels, I really like the towel, it's microfiber and if you click the picture you can see it says I Heart Tennis all over the ribbon. Cute!

Week three at home starting alone..

We are past almost there.. I waited for the DR to all on Friday with no luck. So, I get to call the office tomorrow and I am already not happy about having to deal with his office staff to get a hold of him ever. I expect tomorrow will be better but he and I will have a talk if it's not I am almost sick of the dealings with some of the people and other Dr's in that office.
Well, all of you that wanted a St. Patty's day baby better start praying and or doing you thang to get her here.
Mom came over on Friday and we went to Ruby Tuesdays, it was good. We both got the salad bar and got one half order of Mini Turkey Burgers, with 2 sides, one baby portobello mushrooms and one broccoli. No matter what I get there, it's always too much food. Still, it was really good.
We went to the grocery store after then came back here and cleaned up my sewing room, which was a God sent, I was so overwhelmed with that room I didn't know where to start to get it cleaned up. So, 2 things 1. I am going to post pictures of the baby's room and 2 pictures of my recent work.

The Bedroom pictures will be in another blog either above or below this one. The first picture is the closet with 5 containers of fabric in there, YIKES! One container is Bob's fault because when I made his hoodie, I bought fleece, thinking that's what he wanted, so I have the yardage to make a hoodie but he wanted some hippie hoodie.. I plan to make my mom sweat pants with the leftovers, I just have not gotten there yet. I have one more container than needs to make it's way in the closet but I have to figure out where. There is a ton of coats and jackets in there and this is the closet where we keep our sheets and pillows so it's pretty full, soft but full!

I made this blanket and burp cloth from some scrap I spent about $1.50 on and the cotton filling inside was probably about a buck too.. so, cute and about $2.50 without labor. Bob says he likes it and it's very spring/Eastery.
The Burps below are so cute, Baseballs, I did a red stitching that is a baseball stitch (kind of) it's for Stef and Adam's soon to be little one. I am kind of disappointed that I didn't get enough pictures of the ones I made as gifts for my neighbors new nephew, they left town already but for some stupid reason I didn't take pictures of all of what I made. I have no idea where my brain is these days.









P.S. Kate, yours is almost done, it's the edging that needs to be completed, I may finish it tomorrow if I get the chance. (It's still out and on the couch)

I am trying not to start on anything big/new or time consuming because this is our spare bedroom and I need to make sure there is room if someone is going to actually sleep in here after she's born. Not the baby, my mother or Bob's sister, or Step Mom.

P.S.S. Can we maybe get some role call in here, I would like to know who's out there reading... Sure would like to know if some people in San Fran have addresses yet, any New Yorkers are around and if they feel any better, any friends either at work or beyond are checking in even if I didn't call Arica back yet (gulp) and Melissa called the hospital today because I didn't call her back while I was in the shower... Someones going to need to get me a medic alert bracelet.. I've showered and have not had a baby yet, maybe a clapper, or one of those police collars for at the hospital arrest. You can e-mail if you don't want to leave a comment... Those that have left comments with names or at least something that distinguishes them from others, I know your there and thanks, lots of love and hugs from here, I really appreciate the support!

Dear Baby -

Dear Baby...
I can't wait to meet you. It feels like it's been forever from the time I first dreamed that you were coming. I can't tell you how many times you have changes in my mind, growing into and as a person. It's amazing, something that is going on in my head and in my body and both are separate functions but both effecting my dreams.
I know I thought you were a boy at first but I really am glad your a girl, I am proud of who I am and can 't wait to see the strong woman that you become in life. One woman that can speak her mind, her heart and her truth, a woman that knows what she wants (most of the time is fine) and is not afraid enough to stop going after it. It's ok to be afraid, and it's fine to wonder, but don't ever let that stop you from trying. It's ok to cry, it does not make you weak, there is a strength in showing your emotions, and feeling enough of yourself to be ok on the inside and show what is going on outside.
This pregnancy has changed me into so much more than I ever thought I would be (LITERALLY!) and it has helped me understand how to feel the changes in me and identify where my life and my body are. There has been a lot that has gone on in the past 9/10 months that I hope that you get to experience on your own. I promise you, I am going to sound a little whiny now but I know you are worth it. This is just how I am dealing some days and I hope you have the gift of gab like both of your parents, and I hope you love to read and write like your mother and you can see the world in a camera like your dad.
I hope that I didn't ruin Clementine's & oranges for you, I think I have eaten a lifetimes supply of them, I saved you chocolate like uncle Dave, you can fight over it with him, I had no desire for it the whole time. I never really got into a lot of cravings, but I did like rice crispy's with no sugar, milk super cold (Melissa would be proud if I used ice), gummy bears, sweetish fish, & sweet tarts. I think that I would not have any cravings that would stop me or pull me away but daddy craved Pantera's enough that I didn't need to, but I did love going to Wendy's.
I am going to take pictures of your room this week, I can't wait for you to see it. I showed you today where Aunt Anja is but I am sure you can't see her yet, soon enough you will know where everyone is and we will have fun finding them after we get post cards.
I can't begin to tell you how much this whole journey has changed my outlook on having a baby, there is so much that goes into finding out, telling daddy and then feeling your first movements. I think my favorite was when daddy could finally feel you and would talk to you and try to get you to kick more. There is nothing better than those first 7 months (for me with you) I really did have a good time figuring out who where we go from here, thinking of how your going to laugh, run, and do the things that I did as a kid. I heard the kids outside playing the other day and can't wait until that is you. Even the high pitched screams of girls when they are so excited they just can't hold it in. (that's an outside scream, ok)
I know I sound like I am not happy these days, I am it's just becoming a lot harder on me and my body. Your a whole lot of kid and you should be here soon. Dr said you could be about 8 pounds so that's hard for me to carry with no arms. It's hard on my belly and harder on my back. There comes a time when everything is just harder, being at home without you has been one of those things. I am ready for you to be here and have your own voice, even if it is at 3 am. My ankles are swelling everyday, it's not a pretty picture but I have to say it's not been to bad, thankfully I am not going to any fashion shows so I am fine in pants. My skin is so tight on my belly that it hurts to wear my shirt down over it and my belly button. If my back didn't hurt so bad from you sitting on my sciatica I would feel pretty good right now, but the pain is bad enough that I am having a hard time walking. This is no good for me, Melissa may have surgery soon (again) and it would be nice if I could go see her and actually be able to walk and sit once I got there. The heartburn has not been bad except the past few weeks and that's about 3 am which is always nice to wake up and have.
I take all of these things and try to put them in the back of my mind, knowing soon you will be here before we know it. One day we will paint crafts, cook cookies, and even tag team daddy and make him dye eggs with us (you can use the glue gun once your 9, maybe 8). We will carve pumpkins and find or make the best costumes ever, no matter what it is that you want to be. I can't say that I have a dream of you being one thing, in fact, I hope you have a love for many like I do. I hope that you get the chance to make donuts (yes Aunt Lisa did that) and I hope you get to learn how to shoot pool by the best (Uncle Mark may teach you), and work on cars even if they are stinky, they give you character and boys really find that hot, and I do hope you get to make pizzas like I did, or work at Ponderosa like dad. I hope that you suffer through a summer of minimum wage work and swimming with friends that leaves you golden brown and tired but remembering every moment, every song and every scent. I hope you laugh so hard your cheeks and stomach hurt, I hope you fall in love a lot, I hope you make mistakes and learn from them, they are not worth making if you do it over and over again. I hope you find a hero, and I hope you find a hobby, even if it's sticker collecting. I hope you have a best friend, one that talks you into painting and selling rocks and Popsicle sticks, even if you have to see her hurt and understand sometimes there's nothing you can do but be there, and know that forever she's there for you, telling stupid stories about you and her doing all the dumb things (that you learned from) and laughing over wine when your OLD like 30!
There are so many things that I want for you, more than anything I want you to be happy, healthy, (here), and the love of my and daddy's lives.
Hugs and kisses.
Mom

Family Shower

So the family shower was this weekend, both sides showed. It was a lot of fun. My sister got he great idea to get a cupcake cake that was a great idea and scary at the same time. Here is the cake. If you click on the image, you will see what I think of every times I see this cuppa cake (as Hannah calls it), the other image going thru my head. (Each word in blue is a link). From what I understand of my husbands childhood, we could end up with the real Baby Buggy Bunny.
(thanks to the site)
We had a great time. Pasta House catered and everyone loved the food. It was so good and so much fun for the kids and adults to get a bit of everything that we don't get everyday. The boys were having a great time hiding out in back looking at cars while the girls were in side with presents (and the Baby-FaceFinster cuppa cake cake). WE got a ton of stuff that we needed, a night light security camera (guess who broke that out as soon as we got home!) and wanted me to shut off all the lights in the kitchen while I was trying to put things away.
We got another great book by another great Hannah and Anissa. Eight Silly Monkeys was a hit.
We also got One Fish, Two Fish, When we Were Young, Now We are Six, Baby Animal Farm, Baby's first Photo Book, and some of Bob's Hardy Boy's Books.
It was a great time had by all, more on it later, I am too tired to keep going tonight but I wanted to get a few things out here before I start my thank you cards.

Don't push me cuz I'm close to the Edgee.......

Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge

I'm trying not to lose my head, ah huh-huh-huh

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

Ok, I give.. I am breaking down as I type. I can't take much more and really I give in to everything. I can't handle any more. Give me a break, I am emotionally a wreck, I can't think I can't speak and worse I don't need to hear every horrible thing that I have done or said to anyone RIGHT NOW! Give me 3 months, not respect for me but respect for my daughter. Give her the right to not have to deal with me sobbing for 3 hours every night this week, allow her some peace of giving me sleep.
I give I really do.. I don't have full control over my emotions, my hormones, my body or anything else. I allow me to make mistakes so if you can't allow me to make mistakes then don't talk to me right now. I can't deal, I can't take it I can't sleep I can't handle it. OK.

I GIVE!

http://www.baby.com/view.aspx?pid=197&cid=176&src=gg
Article that came into my inbox today, and really not a surprise after this week.

painting and pillows

I finally gave in and bought myself a pregnancy pillow. It's wonderful so far, I have not used it on a work day yet but I have made it thru 2 nights with more sleep than I have had in a week and a half. This kid is growing now so fast that I can't seem to keep up, I don't know what to do about the next few weeks (10 weeks) but I got a new Yoga dvd on the way to help me stretch or something to make this more uncomfortable on me. I have always joked with friends that you would never actually get the nerve to have a baby (the actual birthing part) if you were not so uncomfortable that you just wanted some pain relief. I guess this is what is going to happen so I get to that point. Either way, this one pillow took the place of 3 (yes 3) king size pillows on my bed. Bob must be happy that he has room again.

On to paint... Bob got the start of the flowers done and North America ( I think one coat) I finished 2 coats on the Pac Rim and a coat on Antarctica. I am going to start South America Tonight, it's been hard on my body to sit on the floor and or sit on an uncomfortable chair trying to paint a wall with a small brush.. It may be time to give in for a massage soon.

All in all, things are going well here, lots of kicks going on around Christmas and thankfully everyone was nice, not saying things about my weight gain and or telling me what I need or should be doing. Except one comment from my mother but we won't get into that.
The nieces came in and we had a nice Christmas, lost of fun and running like mad, I think they were not so happy with me not running as fast or as much and or holding anyone as much this visit, but it was still great.

Either or, pictures to come, I have to keep painting now while the sun and lighting is good, I will take some photos after the sun is not on the wall.

Life is good... Take a look at my world right now...

1968 The Georgian (Church Newsletter from Mom's House)

My Mom found this in the drawer in the living room (that room you were never suppose to go in because there was furniture in there that no one ever sat on and now it's all dusty and gross and she wants to know if you want it)yeah... that room...

What A Child Might Tell Us
Dear Mom, Dear Dad,
Don't Spoil me. I know quite well that I shouldn't have all that I ask for.
I'm only testing you.
Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. It makes me feel you care about me and are protecting me.
Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early years.
Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big".
Don't punish me in front of other people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
Don't be too upset with me when I say "I hate you". It isn't you I hate but your power to control me.
Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention that I need.
Don't Nag. If you do, I'll have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
Don't forget that I can not explain myself as well as I would like. This is why I'm not always very accurate.
Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.
Don't be inconsistent. That confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real, and you can make me feel better if you try to understand.
Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and look for information somewhere else.
Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or never wrong. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.
Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.
Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very hard to keep up with how I am changing. But please do try.
Don't forget that I love experimenting, trying different things. I couldn't grow without it, so please put up with it.
Don't forget that I can't grow up healthy without lots of understanding and love. But I don't need to tell you that, do I?
With love,
Your Child

Cute - True.. works for now too, and I wish a lot more people would try to read that sometime instead of some of the junk out there.. This is more of what a child really needs...

24 weeks already? Where has the time gone???

I am guessing that like any good fairytale I have just woken up from some crazy coma. I can't believe that it's 24 weeks, I have 15 weeks left, that is 2 until my third trimester begins, 108 days! I am starting to feel pressured (the David Bowie, Freddie Mercury kind)...
The room is not ready but we are taking off next week to paint. I am really excited about painting even if it's only the one wall and mural. I have my registry set on Target and on Amazon and stopped having dreams that no one is going to come to my shower (even I knew I was being crazy I guess) but Kate, Nigel and Thomas (and puppy) sent us a PRESENT!!! OK, I know you know Kate and she does not send ONE present.. We got 2 SwaddleMe blankets that are so cute and my Sleep Sheep On the Go it's so cute. It makes 4 sounds, 3 like water(s) and one like a whale call. All for the need of white noise even if Bob says that living in the Midwest hearing water worries him and the whales sound like someone constipated (his words) are still no matter to me. I did inform him that Kate is going to smack the He.. out of him and so he should really watch it.
We found our dresser too and Mom is going to get it for us so I am not sure I even want to register at Babies R Us. the people at the location by me have been super rude the last three times I have been there so I am in no rush to go back. I have been on this kick recently to send letters to corporate offices. I sent one to McDonald's and they honestly asked me "what I wanted" like it was expected that you want something when you call and complain. I told them nothing, I didn't want them or their business, so now I am anti-McD's. Until we are forced into happy meal land.
I also got another gift today at work, a blanket from one of the girls, Jena. She made it, it's so cute, I am going to take a picture and post it soon, I will also go back on my Oct 31 post and add the halloween pictures too.
Off to watch heroes and hope to fall asleep... I will try to keep up to date on here too.. more news soon..

Week 21 ish.. overwhelmed...

I am not sure why I am feeling so overwhelmed these days. It could be the holidays coming up and I have a hard time not being with family and that hits home worse this year with so much else going on. I am having a hard time with the MIL she seems to say things without thinking first and then her only backup to what she says is to insult herself (because that makes things better??).
So it's coming down to another Thanksgiving and Christmas, actually the last for just Bob and I. It's odd... This time next year everything will be different, and I hope the room is actually pained by then.
So, I have to figure out paint colors and make sure we still agree on themes. I started my registry on Amazon, but just of the things I think that I need and some things that I have heard and read great reviews on. We were going to go register this weekend after we found out SHE's a she. But that didn't happen. I started some odd pre-nesting, I think its because I can still sit and bend in ways that I won't be able to soon. I cleaned out under the bathroom cabinet and the kitchen lower shelves and higher items. Also lifted the heavier pots and pans so I can reach them easier later. Pre Nesting? I would say yes but I still didn't mop and I didn't finish up the dishes until tonight.
I am getting a bit more of an urge to sew, I didn't have it for a long time but I need to get some things done for Christmas and want to send over Presents for the Thanksgiving gang in VA.
Mom is going on a long vacation in April, I am really sad about that.. Baby Mc will be less than a month old when she leaves, (depending on birth date and actual leaving date, could be a lot less) and I am sad, I think more because I will still be at home then and thought it would be good bonding time for all of us, I will be able to move and go a bit more by then and she'll be gone. Oh well, I know, get over it.... Things could be worse, some of my friends mothers live out of state...
Today was good, my brother was in with his two girls and they are so cute and so well behaved it just makes everything happy and I can't wait to be there.
TTFN...

Week 15 - Ultrasound 3

Today Lisa, Mom and I went to my third ultrasound and had a lot of fun. there are 2 TV's in the room so I got to watch one and they watched the Tech (Karen) do the amazing job that she does.

So, here are a few pictures.

1. Heres the hands, looks like a good set of five fingers to me!

2. The legs crossed (and the tushe) I think this baby has Bob's legs..

3. a Close up Profile. Babys facing the left side of the page. Head at the top of the right, belly at the bottom center ish.

4. So, we got one of the feet again (Karen likes feet as much as I do)

We had a great time, went to the ultrasound, went shopping at Gordmans, went to Moes for dinner and it was good then went to DSW and I got 2 pair of shoes.. I am so excited. it was so fun!

I am feeling so much better now, getting my energy back and I finally feel like I am getting some sleep. Not up every 2 hours peeing and having freaky dreams.

Good day, good week 15.

Month 4 starts next week.

Week 11 - a few gigles while I am awake

Top 5 ways you know your in your first trimester

1. you put your keys in your hand and can't find them but for some reason you can't forget that you wanted a fish sandwish from McDonalds 4 days ago.

2. you almost fall asleep in the bathroom at work because you pee so slow and so long

3. The cafeteria lady at work is the first to touch your belly and your still wearing your normal clothes (so strange!)

4. No matter how tired you are, your still up at 1 am to p then again a half hour before the alarm goes off

5. You have some dream about your husband that leaves you pissed at him for most of a full day. (yeah, mine was someone was throwing snowballs at me and he didn't think it was a big deal, I woke up pissed and I am sure I didn't speak to him for well over an hour)

And the Bonus... Your at the Waterway and turn to the guy that wants to sell you a car wash and say " I dont NEED a gas station right now thank you!" before you can even figure out what is coming out of your mouth!

Ok, Plus - 2nd ultrasound today.. it was nice - abdominal and I even peed first. The baby was pissed because the weather has been so bad that I had to use my inhaler before I went so we didn't get any face shots because the little bugger was too busy being the next olympic gymnest!

Karen (the tech) had the worst time getting a clear shot of the babys face and legs and feet because there was quite a bit of dancing going on in there. No wonder I think I have to pee then I dribble, theres a show going on in there!

So, mom went with me. I was really glad she did. I think this is all so interesting that I am glad she got to go and see it all live.

We also went to Red Robin after and I got a chocolate malt and she got the worlds LARGEST rootbeer float!

(pictures soon.)

Week ten and the sickness begins...

Well, mom said she didn't ever have morning sickness. Well, I do, kind of. I am so super blahhhh and have not really wanted anything to eat but noodles with butter on them . Tonight I had regular sauce and it was alright but I still am not at my best. I can't get over the tired and I can't sleep a whole night, I guess this is over forever. I did get most of my sleep in my youth.. I really did take advantage of those days too, I am glad, and I have no regrets.
I have my second ultrasound on the 27th. This will tell me everything is going well going into week 12. The week after is the Dr appt., the long one where we go over all the do and don't items.
I am about to splurge on a new boo, Baby Bargains. My friend Kate said that she would have sent mer her copy but she just lent it to someone else, it's not too easy for e her to get it here anyway because she's half way across the country. So, that is on my list of things to get soon. I know it will come in handy, I have seen some of the older editions and they are really up to date on their stuff.

Erin had her baby. Issac Matthew, he's co cute. I should have a picture of him up here soon, I just need her ok to post him. I would hate to infringe on any contracts he has pending. :) hee hee.