List 4. I Watch

Ya'll may think this is a list of TV only -- but it's not..

1. I watch the trees in the fall, and the leaves blowing in the wind.
2. I watch birds flying in circles, all in big groups, I could watch that for hours.
3. I watch my baby crawling and moving around, in anticipation of her next move, almost holding my breathe trying to let her do her thing.
4. I watch my husband cut the grass, back and forth, up and down the hills, he loves it, he will never admit it, but he does.
5. I watch my baby grow, her hair is longer now, we are going to start wearing barrettes soon. I ordered a few online and I am going to make some myself. I watch her legs get longer, and her feet growing, she's more limber and coordinated, she can eat her feet, giggle and laugh, sing songs to herself, crawl, pick things up, take pots and pans out of their stacks, put things in her mouth, change hands and do it with the other hand. talent I tell ya
6. I watch the kids on our street, playing, remembering when I was that age... Amazement, I can't get over the memories.
7. I watch my friends kids get older, do more, have more kids, be so cute... (add another thing to wish list, that we were all closer to each other too)
8. I watch Grey's Anatomy, House, Biggest Loser (sometimes, I have not been into it this season) Lost (when it starts), Heroes, Private Practice, Men in Trees... and that's about it. We don't have cable, satellite, or whatever... I know we will get it when Miss T is older and wants it, but until then, we don't need it.. We have enough to do.
9. I watch my mothers hands, I know this is something that she will e-mail me on later, but we have the same hands and I have always watched her hands, they are so much more delicate than mine, almost like she's composing all the time. I watch my own hands add freckles ever year, more and more, now I look at Miss T's hands and wonder if I will see the same thing.
10. I watch me change, I am growing into a new person. I am not the same today as yesterday, constently changing, not a bad thing of course, but surprising that this is who I am. I am glad, I have not always been glad about that, but I am now, and I am blessed.

List 2. I Love..

My post went blank!! YIKES! Lets start over...

I love that today is my anniversary, it's been a great time with Bob and I. A long road and a lot of fun.

1. I love the same man that my daughter does...
2. I love the same girls that my husband does - (ya, that includes me too)
3. I love the smell of fall in the air, the crisp sound of the trees and the changing colors of all of the leaves in our back yard.
4. I love to feel inspired and get something done.
5. I love clean sheets, cold pillows and warm toes.
6. I love to get a drink from my bathroom faucet in the middle of the night but only in winter. The water is so cold and refreshing... Odd I know, I loved it as a child too...
7. I love the smell of my daughter, everything about her scent, the sweet of her breath, the smell of her hair after she wakes up..
8. I love walking, for miles and thinking about endless things, but walking outside is the best.
9. I love long showers and sleeping in on Saturdays, great hair cuts and pedicures.
10. I love my husband, my daughter, my family, his family, my neighbors, my friends, my coworker friends that I miss (because we all moved around so much), my Godparents, my real parents, my mothers friends, my sisters friends, my nieces, my aunt, my life long friends that play phone tag with me no matter what, and my long distance friends that don't forget me even when we are super busy and times are tough..

Love you all..
(and yes I cheated, I know this is more than 10)

I feel whitty... oh so whitty...

Where to begin...
Mothers Day.. My first, I wanted breakfast in bed. Something simple, eggs? Cereal? bagel? Nothing big or spectacular. We didn't do breakfast, I did get two cute cards, one from Miss T and one from Big Daddy.. Bob's card was really funny.. I cracked up.
On the outside it has a chicken with really long legs and says "A Mothers Day Riddle" and the Chicken says "Why did the mom cross the road?"
Inside it says "No one could tell, really. She was mumbling something to herself about peace and quiet. She circled the block a couple of times and came back a lot happier"
Hmmm??? I don't get it... HA!!
So, for dinner... Bob went and got 2 steaks, and 4 Russian King Crab legs and grilled them up with veggies, yellow tomato, asparagus, and two kinds of mushrooms. Also, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and pears, and cheesecake lolly pops (good but not worth the price next time), two different B&J ice creams, and a cookie cake from Dierbers. Aww, romance with a baby monitor in the center of the table. Who needs candles? Taryn of course is a fan of the romance too, she didn't want to miss it, she was happy for all of 45 seconds.
We are slowly surviving the sugar coma! Kidding, it's been a few days and thankfully most of it is still around. I gave the neighbors most of the cookie cake.. No thanks to Rebekah and Aiden..they didn't even make a dent!
We may have talked daddy into that the day before with our new outfit. We are not sure it made an impact on him, he only took four THOUSAND pictures while she had it on!






Well, we had our two month Dr. visit and little Miss is on the map. She's almost 12 lbs already. I can't believe it but I will have guns like RB by the time she's six months like Aiden.. Ya baby!
All went well with the shots and confirming we have the Thrush, ugg. Not so fun and we got meds and thankfully early on. Dr said its slight but no need to not take the meds, they will help. I need to get some yogurt too so I can keep fighting this thing with help from the natural resources we have everyday.
Taryn had her first bottle, did I say that before? Well, I can't pump for a few days, they said wait 4 to 5 days from the LLL. I figure it's a good idea and we have so much frozen it's not a bad idea to dip into our month 1 supply anyway if needed. I got a sterilizer from Target.com Thanks Grannie Sandy and Auntie Katie for the gift cards... Came in handy. I am for sure a fan to sterilize everything going forward and it was worth the money in the end, we are going to try to stay with the BF as long as we can. Our little moose seems to be doing quite well with it so far.
I loaded some pictures on the Flickr site too, I know, I know I need to go Pro on there so I can do more with it but I just have not gotten around to doing it yet. Bla bla Bla..
Cell phone photos of the week!
So, I put on my same brown Born's that I have been wearing from October and went for a walk with Rebekah, (her idea so she could have some cookie and not feel bad about it) and got the hugest blister of my life.. Yes, it's gross but I am going to show you just because, well 1. its my blog and I can do what I want to and 2 because Tracey said she's never heard of anyone getting a blister in the center of their foot before. Good enough reasons.. if not skip over the next ones are pretty good.






I went to Walgreen's because someone needed her own items for around the house. Taryn needed her own head and shoulders because her scalp is still so dry and peeling. (Not sure if she would rather get that or the jeep from her dad! HA, don't tell him I said that, if he reads it well, we are all in trouble) but while there I got the BIGGEST thing of Smarties in the whole WORLD! Angie just ruined her keyboard drooling over this!



Stef and Adam are going to be so proud, Taryn is wearing her tye dye that they got her. Cute little hippie sleeping. Surprised it didn't' come with a beer and a dead cd... kidding





Here's the two hippies together. Ok, please look at that kids face. I LOVE THAT SAD POUT. It's going to get her a lot if not most of what she wants from her father for most of her life but it's cute and not such a bad thing now.




That's about it from here, I can't think of much else that's going on. This weekend is brunch with Bob's mom and sisters, I am bringing Miss Thing because none of them have seen her yet, so she will wow them with her cuteness of course. More to come. P.S. don't forget to look at the flickr shots and there will be a post soon for people to post comments to Taryn, I want to get a few in from people for her book. Take your time, think of something brilliant and funny.

Quiet around here...

So we've been home for a week now (and a day) and it's been really quiet, not a lot of phone calls and not a lot of guests. I am surprised, we have only heard from a few of the siblings on each of our sides and few visitors. I guess everyone's giving us time to get in a groove but it's been so quiet and maybe I am just pushy.
All in all things are good, I need to load the photo site in the blog so we can load up more pictures. Grandma Sandy came over today and made us dinner, pasta with olive oil and fresh squash, sun dried tomatoes and carrots. It was really good and healthy, she also got an apple tart from Trader Joe's' and it was really really good too! It was a nice visit over all and we got to spend some quality time with Grandma Sandy which is always nice and she's always on the run. I am so glad she got out here and Taryn is too, she is actually almost as big as Grandma Sandy and Grandma Sally already. Should not be too long before she does pass them up.
We are going to do a test run tomorrow to see if I can handle going to the Dr with Taryn on Monday. I will carry the car seat to the car with Taryn in it and hook her in and drive (from here to the Dr's office) or wherever and check on the drive and how I do with the belly and all lifting and moving on our own so Bob won't worry so much on Monday when he has to work.
Hope all is well with everyone, we had a pretty long night last night but today was a good day and we were all bright eyed for a lot of the afternoon. Hope this helps with sleep tonight and we can all get a little rest, even if mommy wakes up every hour to make sure things are going well.

We are getting there..Here's a few cute pictures from Grandma Sally's visit last week.

It's April? Already?? Oh man!

Wow, I can't believe it's April showers already, time really flies these days. I was hoping for more time at home with her by now but we are enjoying every moment as they go by and watching her really start blooming into the person that she is. She's so independent already, holding her head up and moving around like she's just going to get up and walk out of no where.

Update on me... Still have a bit of the weepies, but all in all I am good. Bob asked me the other night "What were you feeling when you heard her cry for the first time after she came out of you? You were crying, why?" and of course, I cry just thinking about it. Just thanking God that she was alright, there is that constant worry when you are carrying that baby wondering if everything is alright and if your doing all you can to make sure they are the best they can be. I remember in the beginning Lindsy and I would talk about how we were both wrecks the week before we went to the Dr and calm just a few short days after, knowing we heard the heartbeat and checked out ok. Once things progressed enough, it was just making sure I could feel her move and move enough to "pass the tests" of 10 or more times so there was enough movement. Doing all you could, eating specific things to make them move and anything else that you could do to get them changing position when needed. Worry was most of the time, wondering if everything was in the right place and all was well. I just remember that moment when I heard the Dr. (because for a C they put this big screen in front of you so you can't see and your arms are out to the sides and you can't move) said, "Oh, now we know why she was not coming out, she's sunny side up" and I didn't hear anything and I sat there holding my breathe wondering what was going on and afraid to ask until I heard her cry, it was not much but it was enough and I could finally breathe again. That one big breath that just takes you away and gives you everything that you need all at once. I could not hold in the tears of joy and thankfulness all at once. What an amazing thing, that gift even if I could not get her out myself, she is here and she is good and healthy. Yup, you know I am crying again now... Thankful, just putting my baby down for the night, kissing her and holding her before she went to bed, I am thankful for today. I know she will be up at 11:00 or 11:30 and then again around 2 or 3 but I am thankful that she's here, she's her and she's great. Even if she does have Bob's toes... :D ok just a little giggle...

Bob's doing well, he went back to work today and all seems to be on track. I am glad of that, no news is good news right now. We can go for uneventful and be just fine. I would like to hear an update on Lindsey if anyone knows or if your reading Lindsey.... you hooo...

A Beanpole, a Peanut, and a Squeaker (this sounds like the begining of a joke)

We got our first visitors today.Aunt Sheri, Uncle Dave, Hannah (Peanut) and Anissa (beanpole) came from out of town and drove all the way out to see us during "fake" Easter weekend. The girls were so cute with Taryn and would hold her hands, and pat her back SOFT and watch her while they ran around the room, played with Domino's, pretended to be Uncle Bob in his chair, and showed us hands free tumbling. I was feeding Taryn when they got to our house so it was a grand entrance when we came in. Everyone was so excited to see us that Hannah could not wait to say "We have presents!", Anissa nodded and pointed to the bags with eyes wide. I wished I would have felt better, I would have had more for them to do while here, they also didn't stay to have lunch/dinner. I was not up to the sitting today but we did have a good visit and they got to see Taryn and we got to see the girls. It was really nice to have them over. Taryn even insisted on wearing her Easter outfit even if it was not the real Easter. The girls LOVED IT.. She even had a onsie on that said "just hatched" that is really cute but was not showing up in the pictures. If you increase the size on the first photo, you can see that there is a tail and ears on the outfit, on the front it has a bunny face and says "My First Easter".












We got home yesterday and There was a big sign on the door, I need to get a picture or two of that but I have not been out there yet. I am slow moving these days and must say I am thankful it's not because of my back finally. But almost 10 lbs later, it's nice to know how worth it she is.
I have my camera back online so here's the last day at the Hospital update:
Here's the room. It was really nice, I wish I wold have taken a picture of the bathroom, it was super awesome and Huge! The first picture is the door, the room is not square so there is an area in the front where the nurses can set up, people can wash their hands, and there is a big curtain so you don't actually walk in and see everything going on, that was nice. I had to call out the whole time when people knocked and walked in "Hello, who's there?" The second photo is Taryn, she's such a camera hog these days. The TV above the dresser, and shelving, that was nice too, there was a lot of room for things. We had most of our stuff in the car by this time but we did use up a lot of this space. The third picture is Bob's area, he slept and worked in this little corner area while we were there and to is right is the big cool bathroom.










Grandma Sally keeps calling Taryn her "Little Irish Lass" which is funny because we hoped she would be here before St. Patty's day and still ended up dressing her in that outfit, because I love it. Someone please thank Christine again for me! The first picture is Taryn's "I'm really pissed off" face, this is the pre-warning that you are getting the squeak soon. We had a slight meltdown and yes she has socks on her hands, her nails are really sharp and I filed them a bit but I still don't want her scratching her face. The second picture is "with hat" but she didn't wear that for any pictures other than this one. She was not a fan.









Daddy's been the hero of the day all day, I got to sleep a bit this afternoon, and rest before everyone came over. He also made lunch, dinner and went to get batteries while Taryn went down for the night. I feel bad that I can't do much and I am feeling a bit lazy with the things I am doing. I know, major surgery, I know 9.4 oz baby, but when you see people cleaning around you, it's hard not to want to start helping out. My feet are still swollen and swelling pretty bad, I can't wait for this to end too. I did get some things done, I got the changing table moved around a bit and organized, got some of the bottle and other supplies cleaned up and Bob helped me get the items together that need to be sterilized. This was a good thing, and a good day. Bob also got spit up on A LOT, peed on and if she were pooping better, I am sure he would have gotten a little of that too.
We are trying to work on getting our days and nights worked out so Taryn went to bed at around 11:30 p.m. and we have all the lights and TV off in our room. This is what everyone says to do too and what worked best.. I am such a new mommy, I have gone in and checked on her at LEAST 4 times from the time I started this blog and checked e-mail. It seems to be working, not the new mom part, the sleeping part. How long does it take for this part to ware off?

We heard your cries for more!!!

So Taryn and I are sitting here, chillin'. Big daddy went for a walk and some "power" fries... He needs his carbs to keep going. Wanted to load a few more pictures from today, she's a whole day older and wiser, we are feeding at the every 3 hour mark almost consistently today, this is a good thing. I am feeling good too, didn't take pain meds after the first time but I am planning to take them tonight so we can all get a little rest. No sleeping pills for me, that's too hard on my body right now, I am having a hard time trying to stay awake when feeding during the day.
Taryn met Emilie, Colette, Rebekah, Karla, Penny, Patti, Adam and Stefanie. Grandma Sally was here most of the day helping out, we are so glad, she makes it easier for mom to get around and Taryn to not feel left out (yea, right) and Grandma Sandy stopped in before going to the show.

Here's dad getting better at his burping skills, Taryn getting better at her sleeping thru dad talking skills.
Here's Taryn zonked out after a long day... some good feedings and some new friends.



Here's Taryn with her eyes open for the first length of time. She's really looking around and was alert for an hour or so! Also, two thirds of me today.

Here's how tall she is, look at those legs! She's lost 7 oz but to hold her, you would never know it!

Guess Who We Met!!!!!

Welcome Welcome Welcome

Miss Taryn Ryan

9lbs, 4.9 oz, 20 inches

Little Miss Fashionably Late Showed at 22:16 (10:16 pm)

The above two pictures are from yesterday, Grandma Sally came in and was shocked and almost speechless when the nurse rolled you in. We are not surprised, I mean your too pretty for words, Grandma Sally figured that out quickly. I was on the phone getting the insurance all worked out and you and Grandma Sally had a nice chat (see above) and you explained how our day went.



We didn't sleep well on Easter night, we had a lot going on and I think daddy and I were both freaked enough just getting to now. We slept about two solid hours, daddy slept a bit longer, which is good, he didn't sleep well the whole week. Got up around 5 and started the post below then got off line and finished getting ready. Repacked the overnight bag and got everything ready to go. I need to mention I was really scared at this point in time, the future holds something unknown and I didn't know where my range of emotions began or ended. The phone rang at 6:35 ish and the hospital told us we were ready to come in. We got everything in the car and were out the door before 7 and were checked in to the hospital before 8. Got in the room and were attached to machines that would deliver me fluids and medicine to start the contractions. We started slow but worked our way up and by noonish we were doing well. Daddy ran to the car to move things then went to grab a bite from the cafe. During that time my Dr came in (didn't expect him there that early) and actually broke my water himself. It was nice to have him there, something comforting that there was not just one more person I didn't know poking on us. Daddy came back in and Grandma Sandy stopped by with food (that I could not have) and he actually ate. Good thing, the day was just going to get longer. After my water was broken, the contractions did get stronger, I wanted to walk or sit on the ball but there was no good time to get set up while everything else was going on. We made it to 3 and then checked again and I had hit a 4, this is when they say I can have my epi, and so I did. We had piggybacked contractions for about an hour before and I was getting tired and needed the break. The dr came in and started setting up and I was getting freaked, I cried a bit but not as bad as I thought, I think I really held strong. Scared but set up, I finally could relax a bit and get a nap myself. I slept off and on from 4 to 6, having to wake up and roll over every half hour. It was nice to lay back and get some sleep. Checked again at 6:30 before Nurse Karen (super great nurse!) was leaving, we were at a strong 4/5 not enough change, ugg. Nurse Ginny came in and told me a story about the hula and prayer and how it helps with contractions and getting things moving. Cute, she was nice and really did help me out a lot. We also got a surprise of Grandma Judy coming up, that was unexpected. We did what we could but 8:3o came and we were still not moving along like we needed to. We did the above and beyond in the next hour, pumped up the pitocin to a 12/13 and started moving as much as we could to get things going as fast as we could. This was where the guilt kicked in that I took the epi instead of walking the halls or doing something else on my own. 9:30 came and went, Nurse Ginny checked one last time with a hope and a prayer, we were at a 7 but she was not moving down, Ginny said there was "just a lot of space" she didn't understand why this was happening, we were doing everything right, we were contracting beautifully and it just was not working.



By now, Grandma Judy and now Grandma Sandy were both there, and I was getting started to get prepped for this big and sudden change. I wanted to cry, long and loud, I was freaking out in my head but was trying to keep it all together because it really was not about me at this point, we had someone that needed me calm in order to have her life start well. Super Doc came in and got the ball rolling, checked me one last time and agreed with Ginny, we were contracting perfectly, did all we could there was nothing that I was not trying to get going but something was not right, she would not drop. This was the safe option and what we needed to do for both of us even if we wanted natural, we did all we could up until this point in time. Within a matter of minutes, there was a scrub nurse that popped her head in and introduced, an anaesthesia resident and Dr, my Dr, husband and random nurses all around. The grandmothers were sent off to the waiting room and I was already shot up with a crazy mix of cocktails, drinks, pills and injections. Off to the operating room we went, Bob soon to follow behind in his new paper attire. Going in the room everything happened quickly, I was moved from one bed to another, layed back and had to put my arms on two boards, more shots and changes and a screen that went up right in front of my face and everyone started working. Pressure on my stomach, changes happening so fast then Bob started taking pictures. Super said "Oh, now we know what caused it, shes sunny side up" so this means posterior or facing out and in the wrong position to come out naturally and or very easy. A moment later, hear him then say "Wow, she's big". Then more squishing and moving and Bob got to go with the nurse to weigh Taryn. Yes folks, you saw it here first. NINE POUNDS, all by herself, no wonder my back hurt. I normally would never subject another woman to having her photo taken on a scale of all things, but this is a one time shot and we can call some of it water weight ;) hee hee.

So, long story short, they cleaned me up and we went to recovery, where I proceeded to throw up my cocktail (that was not good going down and worse coming up but thankfully no aftertaste!) then settle into being so tired I could not function for about 20 minutes. We got in a little quality time before visitors started showing up (grandmas there, remember) and they went with daddy to the nursery while they cleaned Taryn up and got her in APGAR checked (we got a 9/8 btw) so all is well, 10 fingers, 10 toes, good looks, good brain and what more can you ask for? We did really well!
So, today starts a new story, thankfully one that includes me losing weight, touching my toes soon and this beautiful new girl. Should get exciting from here, Taryn and I are sitting in bed looking at her hands. She has Grandma Sally and my hands, and yes Aunt Lisa, she did already mention piano lessons. Hope everyone enjoyed the pictures, sorry there are not more, we don't have a lot of excitement after the delivery, we are all just getting to know one another.

78th Post and we go to the hospital tomorrow...

I have no idea what the 78 has to do with other than it told me I had 77 posts and I thought, Man I talk and type a lot.
We go to the hospital tomorrow, I looked in the Birthday book and tomorrow is a good day to be born. Good Birthday, seems all is well and going well for the 24th of March. that makes me feel better. I must have
I am freaking out that I put my sewing Machine away, it's so odd. I have now wanted to sew in months, I got in there for 2 weeks? now I am uneasy putting it away.. Odd? I think so. I got a lot done, I will get more done again, I am not going to keep it put away but for now, we are going to take some time to get used to being a family.
expected, the big joke today is if or when I will sleep.I am worried about tomorrow, I mean it's a big step, a bigger change and a longer lasting effect. I am really worried about the ouchie tomorrow, I mean this is not like a filling (I called it a filling today to Lisa, she called it a root canal) not sure what to expect, not sure anyone really can say for sure, it's all so different and individual. I am scared and nervous, I mean I guess it's to be Last night, I slept from 3 am till almost 6 am, it was so bad I watched Hell Boy on regular TV, Lisa laughed because not only did I watch Hell Boy but I watched it with commercials even! Ya, that's bad. (shakes head)
Something about it all does not feel real yet, I guess it won't till it happens, Bob says he's calm, he's fine and it's not a big deal it's just what happens next, but he's not slept in days and I swear he lemon pledged thew whole house, not that I suggest sniffing bathrooms but ya, there too. I was finishing sewing something yesterday and smelled cigarette and he accidentally walked in the house after he lit his, he's got a lot on his mind...
All the Pack n Plays have been put together, the toys are put away, the computer has not been moved yet but that loses out Internet connection so Bob's still working on that for the first week while she's home and in our room. It's my stupid fault, I have no idea why we didn't get connections in all the rooms when we had the house built.
Rambling already, I know..
I started putting away long sleeve maternity tops that I am hoping not to wear but they are all clean. I have some pants out but put some of the less worn in the bag too, they are mostly winter, so I am not sure what to do with them all yet. I have a friend at work that I plan to give my tall girl stuff to, but not sure what to do with it all. I guess that's not really a worry at this point in time.
I tried to take a few pictures of our last day at home alone. Not sure what all will change, but I can promise, there will be so many fewer pictures of my belly! She likes the right side right now.









Bob rotated the dryer door (yes, I know now? Really? didn't you need that more the last month?) it's going to be nice, and now that I will be able to bend down to the washer level it will be even more helpful. Bob's been transferring most of the laundry this past few weeks, maybe that's what it takes?










I got Thomas' gift done, finally, and yes Kate I am spoiling it for you now but you still have to wait for it to be mailed. It's a towel hoodie a SHARK one. I designed it myself, like the fin?? I thought it was cute. The teeth are ribbon, triangle fold and sewn, it was my own idea, I am pretty proud. I can't wait to finish Audrey's, it's going to be so cute, it's a Lion.












Yes, he also was cleaning cameras this weekend, and no joke, this is what I walked into in the kitchen, it's like a little army. I have no idea who does this other he but it was soo funny, on the kitchen table, in front of the clif bars and oranges.









Last but not least, NO ONE OPEN THE CLOSET DOOR! Holey cow! That's a lotta stuff... Actually, it all fit, it's a bit crunched but the door opens (opens in the closet thank you) and closes, the sewing machine is in there, along with 10 king size pillows, 5 king and queen comforters, 2,465 flannel jackets/pullovers (seriously, there are 20+), 10 coats, one Sewing table, 5 boxes of material, a bunch of sewing machine parts, 5 shelves of sheets, 4 different 20 + yard sets of material still on the roll, 3 vases, a Christmas stocking box FULL of ribbon, a box of patterns, another box of binding and other tools, a box of storage for bills and cards and a box of CD cases (yes, that need to go, does anyone remember me bending anytime in the past month?) and maybe some bad 90's Cd's but we won't go there. The rest of the room is somewhat clean, other than that blue box, that makes my statement above false, not everything fit.... One large heavy box of material that I really tried to use! It's so hard right now , when I made the diaper bags for charity I was all over the floor, I never realized how much bending and stretching it takes to cut patterns and make patterns. I will get there.. But oh well, it's still clean and you can see the floor, there are not tables all over the room , the computer will have a place to go (see glass top desk) and I will be back in there sewing one day.












Somehow the vacuum isn't working so well so Bob is fixing that so we can finish the floor in there. I did finish a few other items, but not so much fun right now to post. I am getting in the shower then going to try to go to bed... wish me luck and fingers crossed the next post and pictures will be tomorrow (if we can get them loaded) and of Baby Girl Better Late Than Never..

Morgan came up with two more names... Patricia and Marie, she thinks it would be fun for the baby to have a name kind of like mine but she will be Patricia, not Tricia. Kim tried to tell her I think 15 times that my real name is Patricia but I just use the Tricia part, didn't work. She does like Marie and likes that Bob's sister is named Marie, if I go over there and she has new jewelery, we will know that Marie really did call even if she could not get a good flight in.
Guess everyone will know her name tomorrow, just pray we can agree when we see her. Wow, this is all happening really fast now.

11:30 P.M. Happy Birthday Mom... Tomorrow, we are hoping for someone new to have their own.

Expectations.....

Well, I guess I can still hope to have this kid naturally. I am really wanting to go tomorrow.. The 22nd would mean a lot to me. Tyler would be so excited too, I mean it was his birthday first. Either way we are almost there, I don't know what to expect, but then again....

Looking back I guess I didn't expect my belly to be the size it really is today. I didn't expect to have big dry patches on my arms, have to use special soaps, have so many emotions, outbursts, thankfully not so much heartburn, swelling when I know I eat bad and sit for too long, and my hair not to grow almost at all for a year. I didn't expect my fingernails to thin, my hips to hurt so bad I can't sit or lay in one place for over 45 minutes, to fall in love with any type of body pillow, to actually be warmer when I sleep than I was before, for my allergies to really calm down a lot and not to curse myself in 3 days of having this baby but I have not mentioned once that I have not had a migraine (knock on wood) the whole time. That is a HUGE DEAL! I expected to like foods that I normally don't, didn't really happen but I did eat more tomato's and beef, no change for pickles, don't know if I expected to have morning sickness, that I didn't get, I didn't know I would not like sausage, vinegar, and egg rolls, and sweets would make my stomach turn, I didn't expect that God would ever let a pregnant woman go without ice cream but this one didn't like it at all, and who knew that my fingers would be so dry that they would crack and bleed, but only the thumb and first finger. I have not had that happen in years, I worked in billing and shuffled paper the last time it did, that's how I found out I was allergic to paper. I didn't expect to have my belly button go inside out, EWW! I have always had great stomach muscle control, I only pray that I get that back, and my belly button goes back to where it belongs.
I didn't know what to expect with Bob, but he's really been great, only one more test (Zoiks!) I didn't expect to get a creative slump for 10 months, that kinda sucked, I didn't expect to lose all my sleep before she even gets here, and speaking of that, I didn't expect that she would be a she. I didn't expect that I would not get my way on her name either, it's really nice that Bob has an opinion and I am glad we are figuring this out together. I didn't expect my job would change, but that's got nothing to do with this. I expected the room to be done faster, I expected that i would have some yoga like quality and be able to bend like I normally can, I expected that I would still have no problem driving but my belly would touch the steering wheel (yes, I am nutty and holey cow would that have been a lot!).
I expected that I would feel all maternal and get some 6th sense of what needed to be done and just do it before it was even time. I suppose I am so scared now because my friends said the same things and were shocked when their babies were not listening to their spidey sense. I didn't expect to be so scared, I didn't expect to worry so much already, I didn't expect that I would look so forward to a Dr's visit because it was the only thing that was telling me everything is fine. I didn't expect that contractions would feel like cramps, I didn't really ever get cramps before this. I also didn't expect that I would lose so much of my mind, I can normally remember a lot and keep things in order for the household, not happening so much these days. I think the big thing is I didn't expect the experience to be all that it is, there have been really great times, things that have made Bob and I closer than we were before, things that got me more in tune with my body and my mind.
I expected that I would be able to relax and read, never happened, just the same line or page over and over.
I should have expected that everything in life changes and this is just one of those things, one of those crazy, great, wonderful, scary, hard, sucky, mean, thankful, everyday things...

Ravings of a mad pregnant woman.. Caution F word below...

74 Postings and she's not here yet... Sounds like the start to a bad joke. I am waiting for Bob to get home so we can watch Lost. I was watching Season 2 of Project Runway. Not sure who watches that from work and reads this but Santio reminds me of Sam...Something about his rambling and the way he talks, funny thing is he's from St.Charles! Cracked me up.
Went to the Mall today, went to Pottery Barn and Macy's and found nothing.. Got Bubble Tea without the bubble, not in the mood for tapioca. I am on a massive sugar kick today, I ate a packet of Peeps, and almost a whole sleeve of GS Cookies.. WTF! I have done so well so far, what was going on with me. I think I am sad, scared and ready all at once.
Patti called, she said "What time is Monday anyway?" I said "We get there at 6:30 or we leave whenever they call actually, why?" She says " I just wanted to know what time to get there" I laugh and say "You can come up when we call you, I will not let you in before that". She then says "Don't you need support and people there>", "No, I have a lot going on and this is a big thing for me, I need Bob and I need to be calm, the last thing I need is anyone else in the room while I am in pain and scared" I then end with "I don't want to hurt your feelings but please don't come up until we call, I will not let you in".
People This is not a picnic! This is not a party! This is my life, I am not on a show, or part of a show. I am fine if Melissa wants to tape her delivery or if anyone else wants to do what they want. I have had friends that recently went into labor and were there for 26 hours THEN had a C-Section! You think you have seen crabby outta me? Try to crash my labor, that's gonna get you looking like Charlie Rose!

Love to you all, seriously but for the Love of all that is good and holey, treat me like I am a person, I am not holding up anyone's life (she's doing that on her own, I am doing all I can to get her here), I am not stopping the world from spinning, I am not your entertainment, and for God sake, I am not HIDING anything! FUCK! Cut me some slack, treat me like you understand how I feel.. I am being a drama queen here, Yes, please get me a mirror... No More.. Seriously, if this is disrupting your fucking life so much, don't talk to me, make it easier on us both, don't fucking call me and Huff in my Fucking Ear because things are not happening the way YOU want them to happen! My body is aching, and sore, and swollen, I feel like I am failing already even having this kid on time and I can't sleep and I can't eat half the things I want, I can't and have not had a drink in months, and I am not a big drinker but YES I NEED ONE NOW! Some of you are mothers and shame on you, I say it again SHAME ON YOU! Try to bring yourself to the point when things were happening to you and you wanted/needed understanding and a friend. I am sure I will get over this, I am sure I will be one of those people that remembers only the grand times and say things like I miss having her in my belly, and I remember _____ (insert mush here) but good really, treat me like this is my life, like I am your friend, daughter, relative, whatever.. that this is something that happens and something that is happening... This is not a soap opera, this is not reality tv, this is not happening at your leisure. I know that I have talked to many of you when you were pregnant and God forbid I was ever a bitch or said some of the things that were rude. I promise you this, your words can be hurtful, more hurtful that you know, more selfish and I can do without it. I don't need to hear that I was Swollen, or that I look Puffy, that I sound tired or what some have called bored but really is pain.
Wonder what kind of crazy I will be without any sleep at all??
Anyone have a white coat I can borrow, I would prefer silver on the straps but my wedding ring isn't fitting now so Gold would be ok too.

Randoms Rantings today.....Good Lord this is long!

So, I am home, bored, and alone. This is what my day is like.

Midnight to 1. get up an p at least once, go back to bed, try to remember what side I was laying on so I can lay on the other and not have to roll over as soon.
3 to 4 - Repeat above.
4 to 5- roll over at least 3 times, sleeping really light, the house is so warm!
5:10 - Alarm goes off.. Snooze
5:15 - TV alarm goes off, Channel 2 playing in the background, I can hear weather and traffic, please God don't let there be traffic at 5 am!
5:20 - Find Bob (usually on the couch these days, I feel bad but I get he's getting better sleep) call to him and tell him it's time to get up.
5:20 - Alarm goes off again - Snooze
5:30 - Alarm goes off again - Snooze - Get up, yell down stairs to Bob again to get up, he complies and I am sure rolls over.
5:40 - Alarm goes off again - Snooze - Huff loudly if I do not hear the shower going by now. Get up, go to the top of the stairs, tell bob is' almost 6 am and get is butt up and that I am not getting up again to tell him.
5:45 - Shower starts -
5:55 - Bob lays down in bed, says he's watching weather/traffic
6:00 - Alarm goes off again - Wake Bob back up - Don't snooze... Go down stairs and figure out what I want for breakfast and pray the alarm annoys the hell out of him.
6:10 - Bob comes down stairs, dressed and ready, goes out side to "start the car" (smoke before he brushes his teeth)
6:15 - Bob is back inside, upstairs teeth brushed, hair fixed, and is walking out the door.
6:20 - Breakfast made, and I am sitting in bed eating (cereal, and or yogurt most days)
6:30 - Hmm, shower or nap? Nap, go back to sleep until 8
8:00 am. Up, not in the mood to shower now, brush my teeth again and figure out what I am doing. Rain? Movies or sewing... Sun? try to figure out where I can go that's not too much of a trip if my back starts hurting badly
8:15 - Sitting in front of the computer trying to use the ball to get this kid into position. Stretching and trying to move her in the right spot so I can walk around longer. Checking random mail, friends blogs, my blog for comments. Some things I found today.
Lost Camera site it's really funny, I mean nice that people can give back your camera, but it starts to make you wonder about some of those pictures you take!
62Cherry - this is a site to show Debbi and my ma. Knitting chick, kinda funny.
Another is A Friend to Knit With - cute, and the cookies on the site sound really good!
There is this one that seems to have a little of everything Bella Dia.
Now to the sewing sites, I live this one Comfy & Cosy it's cute.
The little girl on this site looks like Maxine - she's so cute. Mi.
A little of everything at My art is my outlet. She does a lot there that I really like.

(somewhere in my wanderings on line)
9-ish - Phone rings - Friend "So, you in labor?" Me already bored with this conversation "Yup, can I call you back?" Friend "OMG, Really??" Me "Hell, no, Why would I answer my phone to talk to anyone if I were in labor" Friend - Laughs a little "I was wondering if I really did catch you, I was thinking OH Shit Where's Bob?" Random conversation after that ends in a few moments.
9-ish again Phone rings - Melissa - "Well? What did the Dr say?" Me "Said no dice, we are still waiting, 24th is End game, go in for Induction finally, not so happy but oh well, at least theres a date" Melissa "What the hell is his deal, he does not even need to Fing be there until she's about to come out, who does he think he is, this is a buncha crap, I would be so pissed if I were uou, you should call them and you know what you should..." Me cutting her off "This is SO NOT HELPING!" Melissa "Sorry, I know, I am pissed about this, call me later"
10ish - phone - Neighbor - "Why are you at home" (Thinking in my head.. Stop answering the phone) Me "Because I live here, Why are you not at home (knowing the answer)" neighbor "We are babysitting, my brother took the baby to the Dr, but seriously, why are you at home, you were suppose to be induced yesterday." Me "No, I was not, I said he only induces on Mondays, you decided that was my date, it was never agreed by the Dr." Neighbor "Well, I guess you have to wait till the 27th now. She needs a 7 in her birthday" Me "Ya, cuz this should be all about you and your comfort level now, who really cares about me" Neighbor "well, my phone isn't working so well here(she's out of town) so I wanted to call and make sure you didn't have her" Me "I mean it's not like I get 15 calls a day asking about going into labor. I don't get it, do you really think that we would not leave a message? Do you think I would not call? I don't understand why people think I am treating this like buying a purse and I am just not going to tell anyone. I Promise I will call you but give me the benefit of the doubt that you mean enough to me that I would tell you!" (Me super frustrated by this point) random chatter for a few about her trip and who all they got to see, I am feeling really guilty and like a big bitch by now. Her uncle shows up and she had to go. Within this time I have missed at least 3 other calls.
Call one missed and called back -
Call 1- Patti - "Hello" Me"Hi-a, my phone won't stop ringing" Patti - "Well what did the Dr say?" Me - telling her the same thing I told everyone else so far - Patti "Oh, I bet. Gets frustrating doesn't it, I can remember being pregnant with Erin and your lucky enough that they won't let you go a month over like I did, once Peggy had Arica and I still had not had Erin I just cried and cried" Me- "Ya, I can see that, and these extra days are enough for me" -- Conversation changes we talk about a million different things. - Her boss calls, - she'll call me back
Call 2 - Cousin - "Hello" Me "Hi and don't even ask, I am so sick and tired of answering the same question and feeling like people don't believe3 me that I would call if I went into fucking labor! I really do want to talk to people but I can't answer the same questions over and over and over without wondering what kind of person they think I am" cousin - "um well, I" Me "Sorry, I am a big bitch today and just frustrated with the calls, I am fine, I am home and no there is no baby here that I am hiding from the world" Cousin - "Well, let me tell you about my day (FINALLY! Thank God, a conversation!)..." and we talked for a while.
Call 3 - Chad - "Hello" Me "Hi, at home, not doing a whole lot, ... tell him what the DR says, but all is well" Chad "Well, that's good and Monday's not too far off" Me" I feel bad, tell him what I said to other neighbor" Chad - laughs a little "Ya, I am glad you women do this part, so let me know what you want for dinner after she's here (Chad is a great cook, we are so thankful to have them as neighbors) Me "Hmm (tearing up a little, this is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day) I just don't know, I am in pregnancy mode and can't think of what I really want. " Chad "Well, think about it, were here if you need us" Me "Well, I talked to Kim the other day and your daughter seems to have the best outlook on this. She said if the car is gone for along time, we are at the hospital, (laugh a little) but just so you know, Bob had your numbers in his cell phone now so your on the cal list. Unfortunately for you, your one of the few in the neighborhood so you can keep getting those calls from the others" Chad "It's the least we can do, Welp (if Kim reads this she'll laugh at that part) Welp, I gotta get going, (he was doing something but I can't remember now what it was) keep is in the loop!" Me "Will do and thanks!" (Finally feeling better, feeling even more guilty about neighbor talk, I just don't understand why of all people she would think I just would not call, my feelings are hurt and I am feeling bad that I hurt hers.

Holey Cow - It's already 11:30 - I am hurting from sitting here, I can't believe today I made it this long.
11:35- Lay down for a bit.
1:00 - Wake up, didn't mean to sleep that long but I feel better.
1:05 - Should have dried my hair, now trying to fix it so I don't look like some crazy bag lady.
1:15 - Lunch - Bob and I went to the grocery store together last night, not usually a good thing, we spend more when he's there. But, I did get brownschweiger (sp?) and so I had a sandwich with havarti (sp again) cheese, it was good, normaly I eat brownschweiger on white bread with nothing on it, unless I am at Leroys and I can get crispy lettuce and good tomatos. I have gotten Bob to actually like Pepperidge farm bread, we get the 9 grain. I am normally not the type of person to try to sell people on bread but I have done a lot of looking and this is one of the few that does not use High Fructose Corn syrup in their bread. Not only does it taste better but it is better for you and less sugar in your day, how can you fight that? I also had some chips and dip with my sandwich. Hmmm, baby not moving so much. Sit on the couch, lean back and relax to get her going.
1:45 - still not a whole lot going on down there.... Hello!!!??
1:50- Break out the nectarine. Cut one up and grab the rest of the strawberries, if nothing else will get her going, this will. A little movement, not a lot, lay back and move my belly around a bit. "Hello! If your running out of room theres' more out here!" WHACK! Big kick, I think that means shut up and get me an orange! Sigh a little and lay back to see how many kicks I can get.

Dr says 10 a day now, not 2 times a day, she's running out or room. (Well, HELLO, my skin is about to rip off from the center. I feel like a turkey, my belly looks like the thanksgiving turkey, skin all shiny and looks like one false move and it's going to peel back.

3:00 - Must have fallen asleep, I got about 5 to 6 kicks before I did so I do feel better. I need to get moving, I was planning to go to the mall, I have to do a little running but really , I have no mall wear to get me there. I guess it's the same ol pants not so much a surprise these days that I am wearing the same thing. I am running out of shirts, I feel like one of those old men at the baseball game, holding on to their youth but not holding in the edge of the belly. I have few shirts that are long enough, I am walking around with my hand at the bottom of my shirt, holding it down. What a dork!

3:15 - Go upstairs to find a shirt to wear that won't make me look like crap, thankfully everything I own is in a laundry basket and wrinkled to death! Ok, one shirt, nice, plain, blue, big I can go with this.

3:30 - Not feeling so hot all of a sudden. (don't get your hopes up, its a boring ending) Pain , feels like a contraction? Ya... kind of does, but this is a little different, hurts more, hmm.. Maybe I will sit down for a while.
3:40 0-Finally sit down, after turning on disc two of House Season 1 - I should at least have something to do.
3:44 - Contraction - Hurts a little, makes me wonder, should I get a clock with a second hand? All I have is my cell phone.
Head up stairs to find my watch...Ouch every once in a while. One actually stopped me from walking... Hmmmm
4:20 back to House, can't find the stupid watch, I will just count - I should be looking for 40 seconds to a minute from what I remember
4:24 - Contraction - yup, still hurts, not the same hurt as before, seems strange for some reason.
4:34 - Yup, seem about 10 min apart
4:45 - Bob's home from work, having a contraction as he walks in the door. I tell him I am not feeling well. He looks at me funny and sits on the other couch.
5:15 - Phone Rings - It's too far to reach and Bob's asleep - Let it ring...
5:30 - Phone Rings again - Mom- "Hi, I didn't call earlier, I got wrapped up in a movie" Me "hope it was a good one" Random talking -- 5:34 contraction, thankfully she's talking... Bob's awake now and looking at me expecting me to say if I am ok or not. It's not taking my breath away, Dang, why won't these get stronger! -- Keep chatting for a few, tell her I am going to the store soon and I have stuff for her friends Garage sale.
Pretty consistent contractions every 10 minutes apart for 2 hours.. Hmm.. makes me wonder more.. Get another glass of water and walk around the kitchen, not hurting so bad anymore. Shit! Bob looks at me again.. Well, what do you want to do? I am leaving... I need to walk.
7 ish - I give up and go to Walmart, F-it I need to walk around. I get up and go, get there, park mid way in the lot and grab a cart and walk in. I go to the fabric department ( I had to go to the further one, the close one no longer has fabric BOOO On Walmart!) and get filler, I need some so I can finish blankets. Oh, theres Bias tape on clearance, nice! Grab some, because you can never have too much and I have not mastered my Bias Tape Maker yet. It's just not the time for me to mess with it these days. Walk around look at fabric, look at knitting supplies, I just cant' do it, I can't bring myself to knit, crochet or any of that. Feeling defeated, I wonder randomly for about an hour, they no longer hurt, seem to be 12 minutes, 5 minutes, uggg.
8:30 - on my way home. There are cops everywhere, I call Bob "Hey, I had the baby at Walmart, can you come pick us up? me and the baby" Bob "You and that stupid movie" I laugh, he hates all those movies.. cracked me up.. He also asked if I had my house shoes..

8:45 - No more consistent Contractions - Shit! Hmmm, Can't remember the lat time she moved
9:00 - I get on line and Bob's finally relaxing and watching TV. Start typing in my blog and go crazy - This is too long.. I miss having conversations like a normal person.. Who talks about their day like this? Drinking a big glass of water, waiting for her to kick, she does that when I drink something really cold or have too much ice water.
Bob says - If you ate peeps and made me eat them, I would kick you.. Yup.. she kicked right in my ribs, Hard!! I am no longer sure she's really my kid. Maybe it's because they are not stale yet!
10:00 Don't tell my mom-- I got some peeps,, I figure if nothing else works this may, she's still not moving, Peeps are pure sugar, they should get her going.
A Few Peep Shows
Washington Post
Galary Photos
Flickr
One I really like a lot

Well, the good news is...

Well, the good news is we got the 6a.m. slot for our induction on the 24th. So that's a set date and time if she's not here before! Told you this kids like her father, she's not coming till she has to be pulled kicking and screaming.
Guess I can get get some things done around here. I finished a bib that I bought YEARS ago. It's so old (how old is it), it's so old that when I was finishing the outline the thread would just shred. No good!
I can finish Thomas' thing (Kate still does not kno0w what it is) and if I am feelin spicy I may start on the comforter for Adam and Stef!

Sigh sigh, well at least we have an end game, there will be an end to this soon enough. Lindsey, I am half way hoping you get to go first. At least someone should deliver!

I have been watching a lot of Project Runway (on season 2 now) and as Heidi says "You're either in, or you're out..."

No change Today

Went to the Dr today, no change.. Nothing new and sigh, we just wait some more. Cried on the phone to Bob in the car when I left, still sitting in the parking lot. I am sure he's wondering if he married a water fountain. Drove around for a bit and ended up at Denny's for lunch, it was good the waiter was sweet to me and really made me feel better, just not knowing and not asking anything helped. I can't say one more time that she's not here yet and I am waiting at home, using up my time feeling like I did something wrong.
After lunch I went to Kangaroo Kids to get nursing bra's and tops, the people there are so nice. The lady that was working had her son in, I am guessing he's 3 or 4 and thinks he's spider man until you say that to him then he's not anymore! I got this super cute onsie for the baby that is a massage onsie, and tells you where to massage for what reasons. I got a 0-3 months, and am sure I will get larger sizes if this one works out well. They said they get them in on occasion and it's cute.
I went to Hancock Fabric on my way out the door from Kangaroo Kids and they are not worth linking in here. That store is horrible, I am so disappointed with their designs, the service and the prices are horrible. I need to remember this before I go back in there, I can't even stand the sight of it now.
After that I went to my pregnancy massage at Ginger Bay Salon, and it was nice but I must admit my disappointment. There is one thing that pregnant women want to do and should be able to do when getting a massage ($75 massage) lay on your belly. Nope, they don't have that table and with the way my back hurt that didn't help. All in all the girl was good, she looked pregnant but I was afraid to ask if she was only because she may not have been and then where am I? Either or, it was nice, not the best, they have separate locker rooms but shared area to wait on your person. They had trail mix and teas while you wait and that was nice but I was not hungry for anything just drank a lot of water.
Left there and went to the grocery store for oranges then came home. I am now very tired and my body aches worse than this morning. I am emotionally drained and hope I sleep well tonight, I have had come crazy dreams these past few nights.
I feel like I am missing out on whats going on with everyone but I don't have the energy to hear anyone say anything that I am going to hear wrong, cuz really, when you feel like this, the last thing you want to hear is "God, you have not had that baby yet?", my favorite from my neighbor is "She won't be here until after the 17th and will weigh at least x lbs", "You should just wait till XX Date", "Are you having sex?", "drinking water?", "You should go for a long walk" (cuz my back feels great when I walk), and my personal favorite "Well what are you doing to go into labor?"

Sigh, No change today...

Dear Baby -

Dear Baby...
I can't wait to meet you. It feels like it's been forever from the time I first dreamed that you were coming. I can't tell you how many times you have changes in my mind, growing into and as a person. It's amazing, something that is going on in my head and in my body and both are separate functions but both effecting my dreams.
I know I thought you were a boy at first but I really am glad your a girl, I am proud of who I am and can 't wait to see the strong woman that you become in life. One woman that can speak her mind, her heart and her truth, a woman that knows what she wants (most of the time is fine) and is not afraid enough to stop going after it. It's ok to be afraid, and it's fine to wonder, but don't ever let that stop you from trying. It's ok to cry, it does not make you weak, there is a strength in showing your emotions, and feeling enough of yourself to be ok on the inside and show what is going on outside.
This pregnancy has changed me into so much more than I ever thought I would be (LITERALLY!) and it has helped me understand how to feel the changes in me and identify where my life and my body are. There has been a lot that has gone on in the past 9/10 months that I hope that you get to experience on your own. I promise you, I am going to sound a little whiny now but I know you are worth it. This is just how I am dealing some days and I hope you have the gift of gab like both of your parents, and I hope you love to read and write like your mother and you can see the world in a camera like your dad.
I hope that I didn't ruin Clementine's & oranges for you, I think I have eaten a lifetimes supply of them, I saved you chocolate like uncle Dave, you can fight over it with him, I had no desire for it the whole time. I never really got into a lot of cravings, but I did like rice crispy's with no sugar, milk super cold (Melissa would be proud if I used ice), gummy bears, sweetish fish, & sweet tarts. I think that I would not have any cravings that would stop me or pull me away but daddy craved Pantera's enough that I didn't need to, but I did love going to Wendy's.
I am going to take pictures of your room this week, I can't wait for you to see it. I showed you today where Aunt Anja is but I am sure you can't see her yet, soon enough you will know where everyone is and we will have fun finding them after we get post cards.
I can't begin to tell you how much this whole journey has changed my outlook on having a baby, there is so much that goes into finding out, telling daddy and then feeling your first movements. I think my favorite was when daddy could finally feel you and would talk to you and try to get you to kick more. There is nothing better than those first 7 months (for me with you) I really did have a good time figuring out who where we go from here, thinking of how your going to laugh, run, and do the things that I did as a kid. I heard the kids outside playing the other day and can't wait until that is you. Even the high pitched screams of girls when they are so excited they just can't hold it in. (that's an outside scream, ok)
I know I sound like I am not happy these days, I am it's just becoming a lot harder on me and my body. Your a whole lot of kid and you should be here soon. Dr said you could be about 8 pounds so that's hard for me to carry with no arms. It's hard on my belly and harder on my back. There comes a time when everything is just harder, being at home without you has been one of those things. I am ready for you to be here and have your own voice, even if it is at 3 am. My ankles are swelling everyday, it's not a pretty picture but I have to say it's not been to bad, thankfully I am not going to any fashion shows so I am fine in pants. My skin is so tight on my belly that it hurts to wear my shirt down over it and my belly button. If my back didn't hurt so bad from you sitting on my sciatica I would feel pretty good right now, but the pain is bad enough that I am having a hard time walking. This is no good for me, Melissa may have surgery soon (again) and it would be nice if I could go see her and actually be able to walk and sit once I got there. The heartburn has not been bad except the past few weeks and that's about 3 am which is always nice to wake up and have.
I take all of these things and try to put them in the back of my mind, knowing soon you will be here before we know it. One day we will paint crafts, cook cookies, and even tag team daddy and make him dye eggs with us (you can use the glue gun once your 9, maybe 8). We will carve pumpkins and find or make the best costumes ever, no matter what it is that you want to be. I can't say that I have a dream of you being one thing, in fact, I hope you have a love for many like I do. I hope that you get the chance to make donuts (yes Aunt Lisa did that) and I hope you get to learn how to shoot pool by the best (Uncle Mark may teach you), and work on cars even if they are stinky, they give you character and boys really find that hot, and I do hope you get to make pizzas like I did, or work at Ponderosa like dad. I hope that you suffer through a summer of minimum wage work and swimming with friends that leaves you golden brown and tired but remembering every moment, every song and every scent. I hope you laugh so hard your cheeks and stomach hurt, I hope you fall in love a lot, I hope you make mistakes and learn from them, they are not worth making if you do it over and over again. I hope you find a hero, and I hope you find a hobby, even if it's sticker collecting. I hope you have a best friend, one that talks you into painting and selling rocks and Popsicle sticks, even if you have to see her hurt and understand sometimes there's nothing you can do but be there, and know that forever she's there for you, telling stupid stories about you and her doing all the dumb things (that you learned from) and laughing over wine when your OLD like 30!
There are so many things that I want for you, more than anything I want you to be happy, healthy, (here), and the love of my and daddy's lives.
Hugs and kisses.
Mom

Searching for Labor

So, I went on line after hearing a few friends talk about some Pregnancy salad. There are stories all over about a place in LA Caioti (cute story attached) Pizza that makes a salad that puts women in labor. The ingredients are romaine, watercress, walnuts and Gorgonzola cheese with some special vinaigrette dressing. There are stories everywhere about making your own and what to put in it all seems to be the same so I dared try. I found pasteurized Gorgonzola (which I love anyway!) and purchased the rest of the ingredients this past weekend. The Salad was awesome but it's not seeming to work so well, nothing has happened. Today is day 2 of the salad and I have been drinking the raspberry leave tea for a week or more with no luck . What's going to work? Who knows, I tried adding dried cherries, yesterday roast beef, and today turkey and tomatoes. Still good but no dice.
She's Bob's kid so I think I am going to have to move all the clocks and calendars up and tell her it's almost April. That's how we get Bob to show up on time to Holiday events. Personally, I think she's waiting for the snow to end.

Anyone in good with Mother Nature?

P.S. I have opened the Comments to non moderated so please use caution, it only takes one bad egg for me to shut it off again. I wanted to give people a chance to add comments while we are in the hospital (yes, it will happen eventually!) so this way there can be updates without me here. Wow, there are going to be more entries without me than with!

Girls Shower Weekend!

I know it's about time. It's been a rough few weeks, I can't believe it's taken me this long! It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, one of few we have had here and getting ready for a 45 mile drive was average, normal but I went from 3 others going with me to none. Jennifer was having some neck problems, Penny went to Stacey's to help out Judy and Bianca was sick (eeww) so I went alone. It was ok, I got to stop at Sonic and get myself a Strawberry limeade (YUM!) and instead of them putting the strawberry on the bottom, they put it over the crushed ice then the white soda. It was better than normal, so it started the day off right!
I got there, kind of early, but not really. It was so nice to see everyone and there was a little time to talk before I had to jump up and grab something to eat. Oh my gosh! Rye bread pizzas, these great cheese balls one was almond and caramel(I think?), and another that was roasted red pepper and something and they were awesome! Melissa made a veggie tray, and Angie got the dollar roll sandwiches that I love (hand put together of course!) Turkey, Ham, and chicken salad that she made her own by putting grapes on :D. (credit for ya there Ang!)
After eating I started opening gifts while everyone else held cute babies. It was so warm, I was sitting in the sunlight which made it warmer but Arica opened the windows for me. :D I don't have any of the pictures so you have to put up with mine and links.
Grandma Peggy (we can call her that here, she can't yell) got us the high chair that we are going to use for years and the CUTEST bath organizer ever called a Frog Pod! The back comes off the frog so you can scoop up all the toys and rinse them before hanging the back of the frog, (toys and all) back on the wall holder. Love it!
Rebekah and Aiden came (he's so cute!) - and got us the backpack that I wanted and seem to buy for everyone else these days. Karla got me addicted. The cutest butterfly toy that Bob could not put down cuz it plays one sound that sounds like "Der de der" and he says they have some skit on Saturday Night lives or something that does that. They also got us an outfit for the baby to wear on her first date with Aiden. Pink button down and cords, so cute!
Emilie and Kat (little baby Kat Aiden's current GF) got us our Auto Mirror that is so cute and soon to be installed, burps, storage bags and is so smart, got us Tylenol for when we start getting shots!
Abbie came cute as ever, aww to be 24 again - She got us mittens, bubble bath, rock a stack, and the cutest diaper wallet. (it will go with anything!) Abbie also wrote for me on the gifts. Thanks!
Stefanie came, no Adam, but it was nice to have pregnancy on my side (HA) - She and Adam are so cute, got us/Bob his first baby hippie onsie and deady bear.
Chris was there too! Not that she won any prize for easiest drive - She got us the cutest storage box that's almost full now. I will take a picture of it soon but it's so cute and currently holding things that need to go in a scrap book (Gulp, yes make fun now, I don't have one yet) but I do have a really cute green one that opens fun and it matches the one the neighbors got if I need to use that first)
Diane and Mia came- Mia is such a great helper, I need to get the pictures from Angie so I can show you how cute she is. She didn't leave my side and Grandma Sandy almost had her talked into keeping every piece of paper and ribbon! Diane and Mia got the baby some of the cutest outfits and who could be surprised because Miss Mia Montana has one matching one! They also got us a headband that is so cute! Diane's friend owns a shop where they are sold and look at some of the other things there. Too cute!
Patti was there, I was so glad to see her, I have missed her - She made us a bib, got us a care bear, the cutest tennis shoes, a onsie, a cute keepsake book, and a Kleenex box that she and Betty worked on. It was touching, I don't know why everyone feels the need to make me cry in public thou?
Grandma Sandy looks great, I miss seeing her and having her yell at me for wearing shoes or a jacket - She had a theme with her gift, we got a binky thermometer, Tylenol and Motrin, sun shades for the car, a first aid kid and a grooming kit. Healthy!
I wish Debbie would have come but Melissa scared her - kidding, she had other plans - Debbie got us the softest blanket ever (in white) that says baby Girl on it, really cute pooh shoes that go with a lot of our outfits, and a bunny safety blanket.
Melissa and Jenny went in to get our MATTRESS! Which I must say Melissa hand tested in the store by LAYING ON THEM! She decided to call me while running around with Debbie deciding which one they liked best! Too funny! She also got us sheets, another bink thermometer (runs in the family) and brought a bag of clothes that day and I went down there and got two more tubs of clothes later!
Molly and Mhena (could she get any cuter!) were there too! - They got us a photo book, baby Einstein outfit and rattle socks, a blanket (the super soft carters ones) and burp cloths!
Grandma Billye got us a Dr. Browns (the best if you ask Melissa) bottles pack.
Sara could not make it but she and Adam got us this cute bear security blanket, the cutest outfit set that I can't find to show so I will have to take a picture later, came with blankets, burp/wash cloths, shoes (pink and brown) and onsies. Oh, I hope they go next, or soon, maybe there will be a blond baby soon, but it could be another red.
Beth came with Tracey - sisters in law, but Beth and I grew up together. It was funny, I had this random memory of when I was young and I must have had a friend that lived up the street because I remember my brother Mark walking me there and for some reason I thought we were going to Beth's house and she lived at least 2 to 3 miles away and he was young enough that we were walking.. Just funny, I don't know why I remember that) Beth got us Diapers (newborn we needed those) burp cloths that the twins next door would be proud of, the other of my Bubble Baths, Butt Paste! and Tracey got us this really cute digital photo fame that's a key chain and one of our favorite Lamaze toys!
Cocoa! Colette came and like a champ/Hero - Got the cake at the last minute! She also got the work shower together and still got me the best bottles (My opinion now) that you can use. Born Free Bottles they are safe plastic and that means a lot to me right now.
Erin was there kid free (wow) - She brought with her a cute sun bag, clothes, burp cloths, home proofing items, and what Abbie called "a bag of Girl".
Kelly was there looking cute as ever! She bot 5 different outfits that are all super cute. Carters and will be perfect this summer!
Elsa (my Messaging buddy) was there and carried everything out to the car for me (I must say first) she got starter nipples for my Born Free bottles, a baby bento box, spoons and carrier for the spoons, and THE diaper bag that matches the car seat, stroller and pack n play. LOVE IT! We even think alike! (Theme Gift #2 Super Cute)
Aunt Judy was sick :( and could not make it but sent Timmy who was a super cute helper and great with John! She also sent this off road stroller that will help a lot when we can go hiking again!
Kathy B didn't make it either but she sent a gift card that helped get our Changing table!
Sarah came and before breaking her big 16 week news- got us some stroller latches and the Tub side Kneeler
Arica and Angie (yea, sure best for last) bought EVERYTHING and then some. As my family would say and threw in the kitchen sink! They got the cutest baskets (that I went back and bought 3 more sets) and a hamper (that is filled with blankets from Arica), my favorite solid food starter kit, Aveeno bath stuff (that has even gotten rid of my dry skin, LOVE Aveeno!), a five piece Pooh summer set with a hat, toys, breast pads, cream, clippers, home made blankets from Grandma and from Dawn's mom (that Grandma Sandy had to be checked at the door for before she left!) (Directions to come, gift from Arica), and now I am losing my mind and can't remember anything else. Abbie put Baskets o'Girl so it's possible I am missing a lot and will be updating soon!
Whew.. Did I mention this is a multi post weekend? It is, there will be at lest one more if not two more posts. Bob's plan is to take the doors down tomorrow to re-mount. Cross your fingers!