It's not over, till it's over.. and it's not over :(

Starting week 2 at home. Not so much fun but I did get a lot of sit down boring stuff done. I still am not my chipper self, not so much fun but there is no one here to talk to yet. Dr appointment in the am so we will all cross our fingers, toes and pray A LOT! We (this we) is also going to have a nice chat with the Super Doc and discuss timing and dates.
In other news, there is no other news, my life is pretty boring. I did make curtains this weekend that even Charlie himself would be proud of. A few burp cloths and a bib too. I'll try to toss some pictures out here tonight if I can. I am not even sure if I am sleeping well these days. I slept from around 1:30 to almost 4 and got up and started a load of laundry, and picked up in the bedroom. I woke or thought I woke bob at 5 but he said he was awake even if he did fall asleep on the couch to get some real shut eye. Finished a few loads of laundry, picked up and seem to have a stack of parents, parenting, and pregnancy magazines. Anyone want them? They are good, already read here so I would hate to toss them in the recycle bin. I wrapped a few gifts for babies that are here and soon to be here. I need to call Patti and have her come out one day this week to help start on Adam and Stef's comforter. I need to open a new baby bank account and I think I am going to turn in my old savings bonds for new once as soon as she's born. It's time to pass down the torch. Betty did give me silver dollars too but I have no idea what ever happened to those.
I need to go to world market on my way home from the Dr tomorrow to see if I can find one more "hamper" I filled the one with blankets and not a single one that I made either. I did toss a few toys in the bottom of it but just because I have no idea where else to put things at this point in time, she's not going to play with any of them yet.
Sigh, we are getting there... When is she gonna get here?

No change Today

Went to the Dr today, no change.. Nothing new and sigh, we just wait some more. Cried on the phone to Bob in the car when I left, still sitting in the parking lot. I am sure he's wondering if he married a water fountain. Drove around for a bit and ended up at Denny's for lunch, it was good the waiter was sweet to me and really made me feel better, just not knowing and not asking anything helped. I can't say one more time that she's not here yet and I am waiting at home, using up my time feeling like I did something wrong.
After lunch I went to Kangaroo Kids to get nursing bra's and tops, the people there are so nice. The lady that was working had her son in, I am guessing he's 3 or 4 and thinks he's spider man until you say that to him then he's not anymore! I got this super cute onsie for the baby that is a massage onsie, and tells you where to massage for what reasons. I got a 0-3 months, and am sure I will get larger sizes if this one works out well. They said they get them in on occasion and it's cute.
I went to Hancock Fabric on my way out the door from Kangaroo Kids and they are not worth linking in here. That store is horrible, I am so disappointed with their designs, the service and the prices are horrible. I need to remember this before I go back in there, I can't even stand the sight of it now.
After that I went to my pregnancy massage at Ginger Bay Salon, and it was nice but I must admit my disappointment. There is one thing that pregnant women want to do and should be able to do when getting a massage ($75 massage) lay on your belly. Nope, they don't have that table and with the way my back hurt that didn't help. All in all the girl was good, she looked pregnant but I was afraid to ask if she was only because she may not have been and then where am I? Either or, it was nice, not the best, they have separate locker rooms but shared area to wait on your person. They had trail mix and teas while you wait and that was nice but I was not hungry for anything just drank a lot of water.
Left there and went to the grocery store for oranges then came home. I am now very tired and my body aches worse than this morning. I am emotionally drained and hope I sleep well tonight, I have had come crazy dreams these past few nights.
I feel like I am missing out on whats going on with everyone but I don't have the energy to hear anyone say anything that I am going to hear wrong, cuz really, when you feel like this, the last thing you want to hear is "God, you have not had that baby yet?", my favorite from my neighbor is "She won't be here until after the 17th and will weigh at least x lbs", "You should just wait till XX Date", "Are you having sex?", "drinking water?", "You should go for a long walk" (cuz my back feels great when I walk), and my personal favorite "Well what are you doing to go into labor?"

Sigh, No change today...

More Snow... None here...

So, there is this huge winter storm warning going on and snow everywhere...but here.











Had labor salad again for lunch, and if she would get here, I got her snow boots!!

Dear Baby -

Dear Baby...
I can't wait to meet you. It feels like it's been forever from the time I first dreamed that you were coming. I can't tell you how many times you have changes in my mind, growing into and as a person. It's amazing, something that is going on in my head and in my body and both are separate functions but both effecting my dreams.
I know I thought you were a boy at first but I really am glad your a girl, I am proud of who I am and can 't wait to see the strong woman that you become in life. One woman that can speak her mind, her heart and her truth, a woman that knows what she wants (most of the time is fine) and is not afraid enough to stop going after it. It's ok to be afraid, and it's fine to wonder, but don't ever let that stop you from trying. It's ok to cry, it does not make you weak, there is a strength in showing your emotions, and feeling enough of yourself to be ok on the inside and show what is going on outside.
This pregnancy has changed me into so much more than I ever thought I would be (LITERALLY!) and it has helped me understand how to feel the changes in me and identify where my life and my body are. There has been a lot that has gone on in the past 9/10 months that I hope that you get to experience on your own. I promise you, I am going to sound a little whiny now but I know you are worth it. This is just how I am dealing some days and I hope you have the gift of gab like both of your parents, and I hope you love to read and write like your mother and you can see the world in a camera like your dad.
I hope that I didn't ruin Clementine's & oranges for you, I think I have eaten a lifetimes supply of them, I saved you chocolate like uncle Dave, you can fight over it with him, I had no desire for it the whole time. I never really got into a lot of cravings, but I did like rice crispy's with no sugar, milk super cold (Melissa would be proud if I used ice), gummy bears, sweetish fish, & sweet tarts. I think that I would not have any cravings that would stop me or pull me away but daddy craved Pantera's enough that I didn't need to, but I did love going to Wendy's.
I am going to take pictures of your room this week, I can't wait for you to see it. I showed you today where Aunt Anja is but I am sure you can't see her yet, soon enough you will know where everyone is and we will have fun finding them after we get post cards.
I can't begin to tell you how much this whole journey has changed my outlook on having a baby, there is so much that goes into finding out, telling daddy and then feeling your first movements. I think my favorite was when daddy could finally feel you and would talk to you and try to get you to kick more. There is nothing better than those first 7 months (for me with you) I really did have a good time figuring out who where we go from here, thinking of how your going to laugh, run, and do the things that I did as a kid. I heard the kids outside playing the other day and can't wait until that is you. Even the high pitched screams of girls when they are so excited they just can't hold it in. (that's an outside scream, ok)
I know I sound like I am not happy these days, I am it's just becoming a lot harder on me and my body. Your a whole lot of kid and you should be here soon. Dr said you could be about 8 pounds so that's hard for me to carry with no arms. It's hard on my belly and harder on my back. There comes a time when everything is just harder, being at home without you has been one of those things. I am ready for you to be here and have your own voice, even if it is at 3 am. My ankles are swelling everyday, it's not a pretty picture but I have to say it's not been to bad, thankfully I am not going to any fashion shows so I am fine in pants. My skin is so tight on my belly that it hurts to wear my shirt down over it and my belly button. If my back didn't hurt so bad from you sitting on my sciatica I would feel pretty good right now, but the pain is bad enough that I am having a hard time walking. This is no good for me, Melissa may have surgery soon (again) and it would be nice if I could go see her and actually be able to walk and sit once I got there. The heartburn has not been bad except the past few weeks and that's about 3 am which is always nice to wake up and have.
I take all of these things and try to put them in the back of my mind, knowing soon you will be here before we know it. One day we will paint crafts, cook cookies, and even tag team daddy and make him dye eggs with us (you can use the glue gun once your 9, maybe 8). We will carve pumpkins and find or make the best costumes ever, no matter what it is that you want to be. I can't say that I have a dream of you being one thing, in fact, I hope you have a love for many like I do. I hope that you get the chance to make donuts (yes Aunt Lisa did that) and I hope you get to learn how to shoot pool by the best (Uncle Mark may teach you), and work on cars even if they are stinky, they give you character and boys really find that hot, and I do hope you get to make pizzas like I did, or work at Ponderosa like dad. I hope that you suffer through a summer of minimum wage work and swimming with friends that leaves you golden brown and tired but remembering every moment, every song and every scent. I hope you laugh so hard your cheeks and stomach hurt, I hope you fall in love a lot, I hope you make mistakes and learn from them, they are not worth making if you do it over and over again. I hope you find a hero, and I hope you find a hobby, even if it's sticker collecting. I hope you have a best friend, one that talks you into painting and selling rocks and Popsicle sticks, even if you have to see her hurt and understand sometimes there's nothing you can do but be there, and know that forever she's there for you, telling stupid stories about you and her doing all the dumb things (that you learned from) and laughing over wine when your OLD like 30!
There are so many things that I want for you, more than anything I want you to be happy, healthy, (here), and the love of my and daddy's lives.
Hugs and kisses.
Mom

My Baby Book-

Many of you have told me how much you love this blog, well it really is going to be a baby book one day. I forgot a million times to put the link out here for anyone else that is thinking the same thing (Karla, cough cough)

http://www.blurb.com/home/1/

Searching for Labor

So, I went on line after hearing a few friends talk about some Pregnancy salad. There are stories all over about a place in LA Caioti (cute story attached) Pizza that makes a salad that puts women in labor. The ingredients are romaine, watercress, walnuts and Gorgonzola cheese with some special vinaigrette dressing. There are stories everywhere about making your own and what to put in it all seems to be the same so I dared try. I found pasteurized Gorgonzola (which I love anyway!) and purchased the rest of the ingredients this past weekend. The Salad was awesome but it's not seeming to work so well, nothing has happened. Today is day 2 of the salad and I have been drinking the raspberry leave tea for a week or more with no luck . What's going to work? Who knows, I tried adding dried cherries, yesterday roast beef, and today turkey and tomatoes. Still good but no dice.
She's Bob's kid so I think I am going to have to move all the clocks and calendars up and tell her it's almost April. That's how we get Bob to show up on time to Holiday events. Personally, I think she's waiting for the snow to end.

Anyone in good with Mother Nature?

P.S. I have opened the Comments to non moderated so please use caution, it only takes one bad egg for me to shut it off again. I wanted to give people a chance to add comments while we are in the hospital (yes, it will happen eventually!) so this way there can be updates without me here. Wow, there are going to be more entries without me than with!

Rest and Relax? (yea, right)

Went to the Dr yesterday, my back is killing me and I can't walk well. He said she's on my sciatica and there is little we can do that we are not already and it's time for rest before she gets here. No more work :( I am so torn on what this means, I cried, I need the break, my body needs the break but I don't want to be home alone! This starts my 12 weeks of time off, I am not happy about that.
Well, we are getting closer, 2 weeks and counting. Doc said he does not want to induce wit the first baby, it's too soon, we will check again closer to due date and if we must then it will be a different story then but for now it's best for her to come when she's ready.
I guess I will know better how I feel about it after a few days of rest.

In Other news, Stacey had her baby girl at 33 weeks, they are at St. Johns and seem to be holding up well in the NICU. WE are all just waiting and praying now. Melissa is throwing a shower for her Friday night and baby will be in the hospital until at lease her original due date.

That's all for now. Send me an e-mail at home if you want, or leave a comment here. :D

Girls Shower Weekend!

I know it's about time. It's been a rough few weeks, I can't believe it's taken me this long! It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, one of few we have had here and getting ready for a 45 mile drive was average, normal but I went from 3 others going with me to none. Jennifer was having some neck problems, Penny went to Stacey's to help out Judy and Bianca was sick (eeww) so I went alone. It was ok, I got to stop at Sonic and get myself a Strawberry limeade (YUM!) and instead of them putting the strawberry on the bottom, they put it over the crushed ice then the white soda. It was better than normal, so it started the day off right!
I got there, kind of early, but not really. It was so nice to see everyone and there was a little time to talk before I had to jump up and grab something to eat. Oh my gosh! Rye bread pizzas, these great cheese balls one was almond and caramel(I think?), and another that was roasted red pepper and something and they were awesome! Melissa made a veggie tray, and Angie got the dollar roll sandwiches that I love (hand put together of course!) Turkey, Ham, and chicken salad that she made her own by putting grapes on :D. (credit for ya there Ang!)
After eating I started opening gifts while everyone else held cute babies. It was so warm, I was sitting in the sunlight which made it warmer but Arica opened the windows for me. :D I don't have any of the pictures so you have to put up with mine and links.
Grandma Peggy (we can call her that here, she can't yell) got us the high chair that we are going to use for years and the CUTEST bath organizer ever called a Frog Pod! The back comes off the frog so you can scoop up all the toys and rinse them before hanging the back of the frog, (toys and all) back on the wall holder. Love it!
Rebekah and Aiden came (he's so cute!) - and got us the backpack that I wanted and seem to buy for everyone else these days. Karla got me addicted. The cutest butterfly toy that Bob could not put down cuz it plays one sound that sounds like "Der de der" and he says they have some skit on Saturday Night lives or something that does that. They also got us an outfit for the baby to wear on her first date with Aiden. Pink button down and cords, so cute!
Emilie and Kat (little baby Kat Aiden's current GF) got us our Auto Mirror that is so cute and soon to be installed, burps, storage bags and is so smart, got us Tylenol for when we start getting shots!
Abbie came cute as ever, aww to be 24 again - She got us mittens, bubble bath, rock a stack, and the cutest diaper wallet. (it will go with anything!) Abbie also wrote for me on the gifts. Thanks!
Stefanie came, no Adam, but it was nice to have pregnancy on my side (HA) - She and Adam are so cute, got us/Bob his first baby hippie onsie and deady bear.
Chris was there too! Not that she won any prize for easiest drive - She got us the cutest storage box that's almost full now. I will take a picture of it soon but it's so cute and currently holding things that need to go in a scrap book (Gulp, yes make fun now, I don't have one yet) but I do have a really cute green one that opens fun and it matches the one the neighbors got if I need to use that first)
Diane and Mia came- Mia is such a great helper, I need to get the pictures from Angie so I can show you how cute she is. She didn't leave my side and Grandma Sandy almost had her talked into keeping every piece of paper and ribbon! Diane and Mia got the baby some of the cutest outfits and who could be surprised because Miss Mia Montana has one matching one! They also got us a headband that is so cute! Diane's friend owns a shop where they are sold and look at some of the other things there. Too cute!
Patti was there, I was so glad to see her, I have missed her - She made us a bib, got us a care bear, the cutest tennis shoes, a onsie, a cute keepsake book, and a Kleenex box that she and Betty worked on. It was touching, I don't know why everyone feels the need to make me cry in public thou?
Grandma Sandy looks great, I miss seeing her and having her yell at me for wearing shoes or a jacket - She had a theme with her gift, we got a binky thermometer, Tylenol and Motrin, sun shades for the car, a first aid kid and a grooming kit. Healthy!
I wish Debbie would have come but Melissa scared her - kidding, she had other plans - Debbie got us the softest blanket ever (in white) that says baby Girl on it, really cute pooh shoes that go with a lot of our outfits, and a bunny safety blanket.
Melissa and Jenny went in to get our MATTRESS! Which I must say Melissa hand tested in the store by LAYING ON THEM! She decided to call me while running around with Debbie deciding which one they liked best! Too funny! She also got us sheets, another bink thermometer (runs in the family) and brought a bag of clothes that day and I went down there and got two more tubs of clothes later!
Molly and Mhena (could she get any cuter!) were there too! - They got us a photo book, baby Einstein outfit and rattle socks, a blanket (the super soft carters ones) and burp cloths!
Grandma Billye got us a Dr. Browns (the best if you ask Melissa) bottles pack.
Sara could not make it but she and Adam got us this cute bear security blanket, the cutest outfit set that I can't find to show so I will have to take a picture later, came with blankets, burp/wash cloths, shoes (pink and brown) and onsies. Oh, I hope they go next, or soon, maybe there will be a blond baby soon, but it could be another red.
Beth came with Tracey - sisters in law, but Beth and I grew up together. It was funny, I had this random memory of when I was young and I must have had a friend that lived up the street because I remember my brother Mark walking me there and for some reason I thought we were going to Beth's house and she lived at least 2 to 3 miles away and he was young enough that we were walking.. Just funny, I don't know why I remember that) Beth got us Diapers (newborn we needed those) burp cloths that the twins next door would be proud of, the other of my Bubble Baths, Butt Paste! and Tracey got us this really cute digital photo fame that's a key chain and one of our favorite Lamaze toys!
Cocoa! Colette came and like a champ/Hero - Got the cake at the last minute! She also got the work shower together and still got me the best bottles (My opinion now) that you can use. Born Free Bottles they are safe plastic and that means a lot to me right now.
Erin was there kid free (wow) - She brought with her a cute sun bag, clothes, burp cloths, home proofing items, and what Abbie called "a bag of Girl".
Kelly was there looking cute as ever! She bot 5 different outfits that are all super cute. Carters and will be perfect this summer!
Elsa (my Messaging buddy) was there and carried everything out to the car for me (I must say first) she got starter nipples for my Born Free bottles, a baby bento box, spoons and carrier for the spoons, and THE diaper bag that matches the car seat, stroller and pack n play. LOVE IT! We even think alike! (Theme Gift #2 Super Cute)
Aunt Judy was sick :( and could not make it but sent Timmy who was a super cute helper and great with John! She also sent this off road stroller that will help a lot when we can go hiking again!
Kathy B didn't make it either but she sent a gift card that helped get our Changing table!
Sarah came and before breaking her big 16 week news- got us some stroller latches and the Tub side Kneeler
Arica and Angie (yea, sure best for last) bought EVERYTHING and then some. As my family would say and threw in the kitchen sink! They got the cutest baskets (that I went back and bought 3 more sets) and a hamper (that is filled with blankets from Arica), my favorite solid food starter kit, Aveeno bath stuff (that has even gotten rid of my dry skin, LOVE Aveeno!), a five piece Pooh summer set with a hat, toys, breast pads, cream, clippers, home made blankets from Grandma and from Dawn's mom (that Grandma Sandy had to be checked at the door for before she left!) (Directions to come, gift from Arica), and now I am losing my mind and can't remember anything else. Abbie put Baskets o'Girl so it's possible I am missing a lot and will be updating soon!
Whew.. Did I mention this is a multi post weekend? It is, there will be at lest one more if not two more posts. Bob's plan is to take the doors down tomorrow to re-mount. Cross your fingers!

LIMITED TIME ONLY! Van Hannah!

Ok, I sent the girls a card and because Hannah just learned the birthday song last month I made sure to mention that it was my birthday this month and they should have daddy make them special toast and sing me happy birthday. Not sure if they ever got Grandpa Charlie's French toast but here's the song. This will only be out there on the tube for a short amount of time so look quick!

Van Hannah!

Where has the time gone?

Wow, we are almost at full term! This is crazy! I am so ready and yet not ready at all. My body is hurting and huge and swelling some days and not so limber anymore, my mind is restless, and excited and scared and my hear is just open and ready! I spoke to a friend of mine the other day that explained the people that really love you and want to come help will come and help with the things around the house so you can spend more time with the baby. I like this idea and think its great that theres help around the house and the allowed time for me to bond these first few weeks. Everyone seems to make this about them right now, when do they get to hold the baby and when do they get to do this with the baby. Grandma Sandy seems to have the same ideals, help the mom bond and then spend quality time with the baby later. It's just nice to hear that once she's here I don't come in last.
So, I went to Target today and got the changing table. It's not bad, it will come in handy and then it will go in the closet to double as a "dresser" as needed to hold socks and other small items. I have to admit, I am fed up with target and the attitude of the employees out here, it's hard to go to this Target, and try to support our local schools and taxes when the people working there have such a poor attitude about what pays their checks. I have a feeling I may end up doing to the one a few miles away and they are smarter about making sure they understand customer service. Just a vent...
I know I have no entered a post about the girls shower yet, I am disappointed in myself for not doing it yet. I got such cute stuff and I need to take some pictures and the ROOM IS DONE!! Ok, painted, not done, because I am sitting in the center of it typing this now, but the paint is done and the bed is in, I need to wash the bedding but Bob was so sweet to put it on the bed to show me when I got up what it looked like all set up. Yes, I know What the hell and where are the pictures, (oh I can feel Peggy giving me the eye!) I got almost all the clothes washed, and the bedding set goes in tomorrow.
**Need help alert**
How much clothes does a newborn need? How many outfits, sleepers etc does a baby need from 0 to 3 months?
I am wondering if I have what I need, I think we are good unless theres a big gallery opening or award show coming up. We have a lot of sleepers, not a lot of outfits, we have tons of summer clothes that range in size perfectly to 6 to 9 months, so I hope she does not plan on growing too fast there are some really cute ones that we need to try out!

Reason for no shower blog yet, Hospital Visit #2:
Captains log:
The night shift at the "WE-U"(Womens Evaluation Unit) is so much nicer than the day crew. Not so happy that they had the teaching staff on and they don't ASK if you want the learning nurses in but oh well. The Male Midwife was a jerk but whatever, I will just ask for him to be replaced if he comes in again. There is no need to be tested when your having contractions and as soon as he understands that the better.
Either or, so the story goes:
Got up at normal time and got ready, got in the car and noticed about 5 to 10 minutes into the drive that my stomach was really hard, hmm... odd. So, I look at the clock and then I start to wonder, is this a contraction? I wait, 5 minutes exactly later (6:27) tightens up again, this happens every 5 minutes for the next 3 hours, all exactly 5 minutes apart, not strong, not hard but consistent. I am drinking TONS of water (2 32 oz cups, is a lot from the time I got to work) so finally I give in, we call the Dr.'s office and they don't answer their phone till after 9 ( I am getting really frustrated with this office) so we are physically standing at the counter of the WE-U waiting for the nurse to say if I should come in the office or go to (stay at) the WE-U. She says "go" to the WE-U and so we stay, get settled in and bob is already on the phone with the insurance company again and the car dealer ship to see when we finally get our car back. With that settled, they hook me up to the monitors and we wait. Somehow Bob go the remote so we get to watch 5 to 8 seconds of every channel the hospital has for around 45 minutes. Around 10:30 or 10:45 they say my contractions are not strong enough and I am not dilated far enough and send me home for bed rest and humility. Oh well, I knew it was not TIME but when things are not right, you gotta get it all checked out. So, the next morning I wake up for work (yes smart asses it's close enough to 24 hours) I get up and get in the shower, start getting ready and things seem odd. I can breathe a bit better, I can reach in some ways better and in others not so well at all, getting in the car is a lot harder (and driving is not so easy) but I feel better, must be the oxygen, who knows, but I dropped and in grosser news (anyone that can't take it skip this next part) lost my plug. Not a big big deal but when I called the Dr.s' office this time they seemed more I hate to say excited but active to my call and what was going on. All they told me is the next step is labor and start watching. Lindsey (3 weeks behind me) told me she dropped a few weeks ago and it's no sign for her. Well, we've waited this long, lets keep going.
Alright, these ramblings have gone on long enough. I h ave a Dr appt tomorrow then off to Melissa's and back before Bob notices. He's very concerned with me going into labor these days, he even got me a "sitter" for when he goes out next weekend, too bad I can't enjoy staying up late!